I am REALLY enjoying the city life. If you read back to one of my first posts, describing myself, I made it clear that this was (and is) who I am, at heart. However, when God said move to this small assembly in Washington, we went just as quickly as we did this move. This was a difficult but beautiful gift to me, as I came to accept the wonders of country life with my, (eventual), five sons. I believed that God knew what was best for me, Den, and my sons. As usual, He was right. That home helped me heal spiritually and relationship-wise. I would have never dreamed that God would have given me so many wonderful gifts that would cling to the walls of my heart, as that time has.
The thing that I must be careful with is having the "Grass is always greener on the other side" syndrome. It seems that when I first moved up to my country home I longed for city life and city luxuries. I was comparing things to what I left behind, and as you can imagine it left a hole in my heart. I knew what I was doing to myself, and really it was detrimental to my happiness, in the beginning. However, as time marched on, I began to pray for happiness, acceptance of His will, and peace. He dutifully gave it to me for He is a generous God, and ask and ye shall receive. As soon as I was sure that we would live there for the rest of our lives, and began to see all the beauties of small town life, He called us away again.
There is a famous quote, and I'm sure I don't have it memorized correctly, but it goes something like this, "Happiness comes to those who live for today, and who have a short term memory". Many years ago, when I read it, I thought it was odd. Who wants short term memory? But I can see how that God requires this in us. He wants us to become wiser through our experiences, but not harbor feelings of the wrongs, or the "what could have been". Short term memory means to enjoy more of the things of the here and now, and praise Him for them.
So as Den and I have experienced the large chain Mexican restaurants, we have found ourselves comparing them to what we had before. You know, the moments where you say, "Wow, this isn't as good as such and such place" or "At least there they knew us", and "It was more authentic". However, I want to be careful in this, for this can sew seeds of discontentment in me. Focusing on the what we had, or the what if we had stayed, and not appreciating the beauty and the joys of what the Lord is currently blessing us with.
Not to say, that I don't have an enormous love for that blessed time of my life, and miss the brethren in our last assembly. No, that will never stop for me. They have transformed me into who I am today, and I am forever indebted to that sort of love. In fact, I want to take that experience and pass it on. I want to be that safe haven for those who are weary and broken hearted. I want to give that kind of love to others, as I have been given. I am and will forever be grateful, but in order to give true thanks for that time of my life I have to live for today, and not grieve the what ifs or if things were different. That beautiful scripture rings in my silent mind over and over, "All things work for good unto those that love the Lord". Believe it, trust it, live it, and your life will be full of good.