I officially feel dumpy! You know what that means, have no style, out of shape, and getting older with no verve'. I never thought that this would happen to me, but that day has come, and it kind of snuck up and bit me from behind.
I was shopping for an Easter outfit on Saturday, plus earlier in the week it had been my 35th birthday, so Dennis had decided to treat me to a shopping spree of sorts. We both realized this was more of a necessity after our house full of estrogen left, and I was looking through my closet and officially declared it a closet of mourning. Everything was either black, blue, or gray. When did this happen to me? When did the beautiful colors fall by the wayside? I dont know, but the discovery hit me when we were all getting around for meeting, and all 5 ladies were dressed in vibrant spring colors, done up to the nines, and I couldn't find anything that remotely looked like Spring had sprung at our house.
So back to the shopping spree. On our outing, I decided that I was going to be comfortable above all. First sign of age right there, when you choose comfort over style. This would have never been the case 5 years ago. Then my blowdryer gave out on me so my hair was just pulled up, not exactly styling, if you know what I mean. Then Dennis needed a haircut so bad that at a birthday get-together the day before, the ladies said that they had never seen Den's hair look so long. So needless to say you are probably getting a visual that isnt the most glamorous of us old folks, but regardless I am going to continue.
So while we are shopping at JCPenney I find a little something to try on. It's a peasant skirt that is white and kind of gauzy and a long sage green form fitting top to go with. I am excited to try it on, but also not looking forward to having the disappointment of seeing my post-Roman body in a fitting room mirror and bright lights. Regardless, Den and I head to the fitting room and I step inside, when he wants to see the final product, and my once slim waist looks...hmmm...poochy. Its not horrible, thankfully, but its not as fit as it once was, so Den loving volunteers for us to find a tummy girdle together. Awwwwe, there is nothing like true love when the man of your dreams pipes up that a tummy tucker may be in order...yeah I felt soooo pretty!!
So I get back into my jeans and sweatshirt and off we go to the ladies undergarments. I am looking over tummy tucker tops when low and behold who spots me, but our 20-something, never had babies, blonde bombshell friend. This is how it went down.
"Hi there!" I say.
"Hello, what are you guys up to?" she responds.
"Oh just looking for something to wear for Easter."
"Me too", she smiles. "Is that what you are buying?" Pointing to my white skirt.
"Yes, I love it!"
"Me too, actually I have the same skirt, and I am wearing mine tomorrow too."
"Oh really???????" thinking grrrreat! Hmmm blonde bombshell, or mommy of 5.
"So what are you looking at over here?" She ponders.
Well since my hand is on the girdle I confess, "Oh just a little something for my tummy."
"Oh you should get this one." As she points to the one on the rack.
Im thinking great, everyone is encouraging me to get this corsette, again I feel so pretty!!
We chat about life and small stuff, when Den says, "Well we should get going."
She says, "Yeah, I know how you men hate to shop."
He says, "Yep, my wife does my hair and picks out my clothes.
Now I am laughing so hard inside as I can see she is sizing him up on this day.
His hair looks like ShaggyDA and the shirt he has on is one we bought about 8 years ago.
So I laugh and say, "Well it's been awhile since we've been shopping for him I guess."
We all chuckle and we depart from one another.
So Den and I turn around the corner to get our beautiful Roman and Abram something to wear for Easter morning, and as we are looking at the children's rack I say, "Wow, I think we have officially crossed over." Innocently my man says, "What do you mean?" I say, "We have middle age brain, where we aren't as careful about every little trend and style." He glances at me, and then looks at himself in one of their mirrors and laughs and agrees.
Home now, I am trying on my outfit, when I try on my girdle and this thing is a JOKE!! It doesnt suck anything in except for my bosom which is now flattened up to my neck, and I look like a beer bellied muscle builder! I show Den and he inquires, "What's wrong with that top?" I laugh so hard, and say, "It's not the top, its me in this girdle, that I didn't try on." We both chuckle and I take it off with the decision that I am going El' Natural, no girdle. Take me or leave me people.
By the next day, Sunday morning, I looked pretty good. For some reason my stomach was back to normal, not perfect, but at least it didnt look like I downed a keg. Den had swung by a barbershop while in town the night before, the boys all had on spring polos and I thought we were rather a handsome bunch. At least we clean up well, when we actually care!
Thursday, April 20, 2006
Posted by Trina at 2:07 PM