Thursday, April 20, 2006

What Happened To Us?


I officially feel dumpy! You know what that means, have no style, out of shape, and getting older with no verve'. I never thought that this would happen to me, but that day has come, and it kind of snuck up and bit me from behind.

I was shopping for an Easter outfit on Saturday, plus earlier in the week it had been my 35th birthday, so Dennis had decided to treat me to a shopping spree of sorts. We both realized this was more of a necessity after our house full of estrogen left, and I was looking through my closet and officially declared it a closet of mourning. Everything was either black, blue, or gray. When did this happen to me? When did the beautiful colors fall by the wayside? I dont know, but the discovery hit me when we were all getting around for meeting, and all 5 ladies were dressed in vibrant spring colors, done up to the nines, and I couldn't find anything that remotely looked like Spring had sprung at our house.

So back to the shopping spree. On our outing, I decided that I was going to be comfortable above all. First sign of age right there, when you choose comfort over style. This would have never been the case 5 years ago. Then my blowdryer gave out on me so my hair was just pulled up, not exactly styling, if you know what I mean. Then Dennis needed a haircut so bad that at a birthday get-together the day before, the ladies said that they had never seen Den's hair look so long. So needless to say you are probably getting a visual that isnt the most glamorous of us old folks, but regardless I am going to continue.

So while we are shopping at JCPenney I find a little something to try on. It's a peasant skirt that is white and kind of gauzy and a long sage green form fitting top to go with. I am excited to try it on, but also not looking forward to having the disappointment of seeing my post-Roman body in a fitting room mirror and bright lights. Regardless, Den and I head to the fitting room and I step inside, when he wants to see the final product, and my once slim waist looks...hmmm...poochy. Its not horrible, thankfully, but its not as fit as it once was, so Den loving volunteers for us to find a tummy girdle together. Awwwwe, there is nothing like true love when the man of your dreams pipes up that a tummy tucker may be in order...yeah I felt soooo pretty!!

So I get back into my jeans and sweatshirt and off we go to the ladies undergarments. I am looking over tummy tucker tops when low and behold who spots me, but our 20-something, never had babies, blonde bombshell friend. This is how it went down.

"Hi there!" I say.
"Hello, what are you guys up to?" she responds.
"Oh just looking for something to wear for Easter."
"Me too", she smiles. "Is that what you are buying?" Pointing to my white skirt.
"Yes, I love it!"
"Me too, actually I have the same skirt, and I am wearing mine tomorrow too."
"Oh really???????" thinking grrrreat! Hmmm blonde bombshell, or mommy of 5.
"So what are you looking at over here?" She ponders.
Well since my hand is on the girdle I confess, "Oh just a little something for my tummy."
"Oh you should get this one." As she points to the one on the rack.
Im thinking great, everyone is encouraging me to get this corsette, again I feel so pretty!!
We chat about life and small stuff, when Den says, "Well we should get going."
She says, "Yeah, I know how you men hate to shop."
He says, "Yep, my wife does my hair and picks out my clothes.
Now I am laughing so hard inside as I can see she is sizing him up on this day.
His hair looks like ShaggyDA and the shirt he has on is one we bought about 8 years ago.
So I laugh and say, "Well it's been awhile since we've been shopping for him I guess."
We all chuckle and we depart from one another.

So Den and I turn around the corner to get our beautiful Roman and Abram something to wear for Easter morning, and as we are looking at the children's rack I say, "Wow, I think we have officially crossed over." Innocently my man says, "What do you mean?" I say, "We have middle age brain, where we aren't as careful about every little trend and style." He glances at me, and then looks at himself in one of their mirrors and laughs and agrees.

Home now, I am trying on my outfit, when I try on my girdle and this thing is a JOKE!! It doesnt suck anything in except for my bosom which is now flattened up to my neck, and I look like a beer bellied muscle builder! I show Den and he inquires, "What's wrong with that top?" I laugh so hard, and say, "It's not the top, its me in this girdle, that I didn't try on." We both chuckle and I take it off with the decision that I am going El' Natural, no girdle. Take me or leave me people.

By the next day, Sunday morning, I looked pretty good. For some reason my stomach was back to normal, not perfect, but at least it didnt look like I downed a keg. Den had swung by a barbershop while in town the night before, the boys all had on spring polos and I thought we were rather a handsome bunch. At least we clean up well, when we actually care!

18 comments:

momto3blessings said...

That is Hilarious. I could visualize it all. True Love when Your dh will take you to get a tummy tucker, ROFL. Im glad you found something nice and "cleaned up well". LOL You always look great though.

Nicki said...

Oh, goodness, Trina! If you're frumpy, I'd hate to think about what I am!!

I hope you got pictures of your bunch all spruced up. *hint hint* LOL!

RANDI said...

Hi, I just can't imagine you being frumpy!

I turn 40 later this year (yikes, when did that happen?) and I have finally started wearing some pretty clothes again. I generally buy a bunch of t-shirts and jeans or shorts but this spring I have made/bought a ton of skirts. My hubby loves it! I am kind of wondering what have I been thinking all of these years???

Great post!

jencc said...

hi, trina! i think that i should get into prettier clothes too...ever since kevin was born...sigh...BUT i started doing bikram (hot) yoga at my friend's studio (www.bikramyogamanila.com) and it's been pretty good. i'm crossing my fingers that this'll get in back into shape, somehow. =)

Neurotic Mom said...

You are amazing, you can take a depressing topic and turn it into something funny.
Glad it all turned out well.

steff81 said...

Trina...from your photo you look like a very pretty lady!! But I love the shopping story...feel comfort in the fact that you're not the only one that has those fitting room moments. I'm glad that you were satisfied with your Easter outfit.

Mike said...

Hey...maybe that's what I need...a girdle to hide the middle age middle girth.

*snickers*

Trina said...

Okay everyone update: Dennis just read this last night, and he couldnt get past the picture. He said I don't want people to think that's us. I was laughing sooo hard that I was rolling around on the bed. It's one thing to post a pic of a chubby gal, but keep the guy out of it! ROFL
Thanks everyone for being so sweet, but I dont mind admitting that I have my good days and my bad days, and that, my friends, was NOT a good day!! Maybe this will motivate me to get 'er done!!

Nan said...

Okay Missy... Oh my gosh! I've seen your post-Roman picture girl and you do NOT appear to be a mother of 5!! You look more like a swimsuit model so I'll hear no more talk of tummy pooches out of you! ;^)
But, I guess you are allowed your days when you feel less than perfect. After all, if we never felt that way I'm sure we'd become apathetic about taking care of ourselves and trying to look (and more importantly FEEL) our best.
HUGS!
Nan

WriteWingNut said...

ROFL @ your hubby thinking people would think that photo was of the both of you!!!!! That sounds like something I'd worry about!

Your post makes me feel so normal. I have endometriosis and cannot, absolutely cannot, do crunches or any kind of stomach work-out so it's the one area of my body that I hate.

Kim's Life said...

Trina this is soooooo funny. I had tears rolling down my face when a read you trying on the girdle. The beer bellied muscle builder. OHH I am still laughing. The your hausband asking whats wrong with the top.lolololololol To funny. It sounds like my life.

jeneflower said...

Happy be-lated birthday!

I totally relate to your post. I will be 35 in October and I know that my dh and I have gone over the edge into middle age. We try to pretend we haven't, but it is hard not to accept this when we have a teenage son and are anticipating our 4th child. We just have to accept it whether we like it or not.

I was just recently trying on swimsuits at the mall and what is the deal with those lights in the dressing room? I swear they add 20 pounds to your behind, either that or they just bring to view the behind you didn't know you had. It is so scary!

Renee said...

Pictures . . waiting for pictures of the ensemble! You can leave the girdle out if you want. ;^)

Adventures In Babywearing said...

Oh gosh, so true! I just found something nice at Target called "Assets" I think? By the lady that makes Spanx- those expensive tummy tuckers. This is the affordable brand available at Target! A must for all new moms! (And even tho Gray is 6 months old I still consider myself a "new mom"!)

Mother-of-Hope said...

Trina! Where'd you find that picture of ME at??? ;')

That story sounds WAY too familiar (btw, I turned 35 in January). I'm all about comfort! I no longer have a clue what is 'in' or stylish....just has to be comfortable.

And your Dh...what a keeper! :-D

California Dreamin' Mama said...

Trina,
I have been following your posts..I love your blog!. Sorry for being a lurker. I found your blog through Jen. I have to say, I laughed so hard when I saw that picture and I thought to myself...OH MY...she took a picture of my "tire", which is what I like to affectionaly call my pooch after having kids. I am 36 and I am in Moscow right now adopting a baby...We had 2 on our own...thus the pooch (and well...a little over eating) and everyone here is fashion concious. Needless to say...I am not fitting in with the skinny crowd.
By the looks of your picture..I can't imagine you having a problem. But, you have a great story!!. Keep them coming!
Caroline

Better Full... said...

The twins have left their mark on me as well. I refuse to accept it however the mirror keeps shocking me into reality. Must by treadmill.
Hilarious story by the way.

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