Thursday, April 03, 2008

Here Today, Gone Tomorrow

Happy 18th Honey! I wish I had a picture of you holding Boaz. Soon, I hope, soon......


So many changes......


The day Boaz was born River headed to Oklahoma. Not just on a trip, but to strike it on his own. He prayed and prayed about the Lord's will and a week before Boaz was to make his debut River came upstairs to share his news. Den and I were surprised. I knew that he had been seeking the Lord about his future once he turned 18, but somehow I didn't think he would be ready to move so far from home so close to his 18th birthday. He was going to follow Auntie out in his jeep, and he was going to take all his belongings with him. I was thrilled for him, and yet Den and I were mourning inwardly and outwardly.



The Tuesday before Boaz was born was Abram's 7th birthday and River's 18th. It took me and Den all week to get everything ready for River to move. There were bank accounts to switch over, his jeep needed a complete tune-up, and then there was the money he would need to make this huge trip across the country. It took us every single day to make this all happen. In fact, the day that Boaz was born Den and River ran to the DMV, really quick, to get his tags for his jeep updated. That was the last tie to be loosened; he was ready to be set free.



We said our farewells with a room full of people. He was choked up with tears. Den and I were trying to be stoic, but my heart was breaking. I wanted to see him go on his first life adventure, but I didn't realize it would be on the same day that my sixth son would be introduced to our little family. After he left Den and I spent a few days looking down the hall at his bedroom feeling an emptiness that I can't describe. I had to keep reminding myself that he wasn't dead, he was just on a journey of manhood and building his very own relationship with the Lord. This is everything that we have wanted for our boys, but it just came quicker and more suddenly than I would have anticipated. Just typing this makes my throat feel tight.....ohhhh how I miss him.



Since our goodbyes we have talked to him everyday. He is happy and well cared for out there. I am content to hear how well he is. I have feeling he will be out there for awhile, but I am sure he will find his way back home eventually. So far now, we are doting on our newest son, while listening carefully to our oldest son over the telephone, many miles away. It's moments like these in life that make you savor those sweet smelling baby kisses all the more. They grow up too fast!

16 comments:

Cherrie said...

Ohhh Trina you made me cry. I am sure he is doing wonderful and is well cared for. I can't hardly think about how fast time goes by right now without crying. I am way to emotional.

Fee said...

My oh my..... I was fighting back the big lump in my throat!!! I'm sure it's a bitter sweet time for you guys. It must have been extremely hard for you especially towards the end of your pregnancy.I would have been much more of an emotional wreck! I pray for even more of God's grace to envelop you and your fam.
Love Fee

Mami Dearest said...

Trina, I know how you feel. I have my little ones at home, and my oldest (18) is out on his own. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

JoAnn said...

I am so sad for you right now. I am actually crying. While I am looking forward to my son growing up, in my imagination he buys a house within five miles and pops in to say hi on a daily basis!! How likely is that to happen.

You have raised a wonderful young man. I know he will make you all proud of him. Even while it is breaking your heart.

Sis. Lori P. said...

I shake in my proverbial boots that this day might come for me! Yes, three of my kids are married and out on their own, but they live 1 mile away! I see them all the time. But my heart would break if they moved away. Okay, Okay, I'm not saying anything helpful here! Um..maybe he will find that he misses his parents and brothers too much and will come back home! Maybe he will find a nice, sweet girl to marry and he will decide to bring her back to the great NW to raise a family? Maybe he'll decide he can't take the humidity out in OK and will remember how cool and refreshing it is here? Maybe!

meNmykids said...

How neat that the Lord allowed you a great distraction at this time. Not that you don't still feel it, but a distraction is good. Commendable that he had such support from you and Dennis. Even though he is away you will continue to be his support system. I guess you won't take this little one for granted. I can't believe we are old enough for this, sometimes I shake a little in my shoes. It came soooo fast.

Sis Stubby said...

Sis. Trina I am sso glad you and Boaz are doing good.My heart goes put to you as one mom to another.
Remember Phl 4:13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me .
Our Lord can help us with all things.

Kalisha said...

I would not be able to live away from Washington, I can't even make trips with or with out my parents for longer than a weekend at time, I know that I am only 14, but I don't think that even as I get older and turn 18 (Or older) I will become less homesick on trips, or especially if I moved, I wouldn't be able to live someplace other than here for very long.

Krella said...

Wow Trina.
I had no idea all this was taking place in the midst of the new addition. I admit, my throat was aa tight as I read this. It is so hard to even imagine this. I know you must be proud of River. He will grow leaps and bounds and learn to lean on His Provider.
Thank goodness for phone calls. What did they do when they had to rely on letters for news?
Take care, I am praying for you.

Jules said...

Awww, I actually can imagine how hard it is for you. I think you guys need to come pay him a visit, oh and then come see me ;) But again, I'm sorry this is hard on you. I know my day is comign and will be here before I know it :(

Anonymous said...

I agree with Gale. I am glad that you have the wonderful distraction of little Boaz. I know that doesn't cover all of the emptiness though. I am very thankful you were so blessed with your baby. Iknow letting go has to be hard.
Sylvia

Leanne said...

Oh, my heart aches for you...and also I am gleaning from you too, as my son, soon to be 13, but if I blink too long, he'll be 18 and striking out on his own, and my heart identifies with you as you try to give your son wings!!

My throat got tight too!!

Be at peace tonight.

Leanne in Longview

Lori said...

Trina - I got goose bumps reading that! What an emotional day for you!! Maybe that is why God waited for Boaz to be born that day - to give you a needed distraction from mourning over River moving out. I will pray for you to be strong! Hugs!

Tish said...

I can only imagine the bittersweet time this is for you. My oldest is only 6, but reading your blog gave me a little glimpse of what life might be like in 11 more years.

Connie M. said...

Hi Trina! It does get easier, I promise. I can remember standing in the mud room crying watching my baby drive away. Now, when we talk, I'm only half serious when I say "well, you could just move home!" hehe
I know he is where God wants him right now and I am glad that he is there. The brethren there are good to him, and he has a place in that part.
But, in my heart, he will always be my baby and I would love to see him close!

Mrs.Martin said...

Trina, you were very strong and so was Dennis for that matter, the day we left. I feel very honored to have your oldest for his first big adventure outside your home. He is doing so well here, he would make you very proud with all the little things he does already. However,when my son left home, he was only down the road and I was still Very emotional about the transition. Hopefully, our babies will help ease, not take away, but help ease the pain. We love you both so much!!!