How to pray. I mulled it over this morning after Den left for work. I had whined to him that I felt like the baby would never come. He made a funny quip about how he would come with a full beard, but we would love him anyway. I found it a little unsympathetic and a little irritating (hormones raging), but in the very next second I questioned why I didn't just appreciate his humor, after all what could he have said to make the moment right with me? Probably and realistically nothing.
Den knelt beside the bed after he was fully dressed for work. He said his sweet little prayer for me, and then headed out the bedroom door. There I laid on the bed with my large round tummy. The baby was awake, just like clock work. He tossed and turned inside of me fighting for his morning position. I thought about all the pains that I had in the night and yet was still pregnant in the morning. I rolled out of bed and sat at my computer and noticed some good reading on the computer desk that Den must have left from the day before. So I nestled back in to bed and began reading a magazine, but then my mind drifted over how to pray about this important milestone in my life. I am waiting to have this baby and feeling discouraged when I am still holding on to the baby within. I began to contemplate how selfish my prayers can be if I'm not careful.
Now I find no harm in praying for a safe delivery and all that this entails. I find no harm in praying for a healthy baby either. No, its the specific prayer of timing that I need to be patient and careful about. I don't know the day, nor the hour that the Lord wants this child to enter this world. I don't have an understanding of all the little things that the Lord is working out that have nothing to do with me. I have a midwife who is very busy and is praying about her own personal daily happenings, I have friends who are traveling a distance to come and be with me during my hour of need, my sister is here to help deliver but I am confident that God is using her for other good deeds too, this I am sure, even Mary has a little girl who has been sick the last few days. Therefore, this isn't ALL about me. Instead of thinking about only myself and my own desires there is so much more going on behind the spiritual scene. I must be careful what I pray for and try to listen to God's will; not just my own desires. It's hard, I will admit, but my own desires can be so selfish and then they begin to make me unhappy, leaving me with the hollow question, "Why, oh Lord?" I am not more content by asking God to give me what I want NOW, without saying and truly meaning "God's will be done". This is hard for a mother in waiting, however I do want this to be a positive spiritual experience for all who are meant to be involved.
So today I will be more patient and more long suffering, and I will try to pray more earnestly about God's timing rather than my own blind wants.I have enough experience in my life to know that this is when it ALWAYS works out for the best for me and beautiful testimonies abound.
Warning: If I go overdue I may start whining again.....LOL