Labor For Their Hands

I had a really great conversation the other day with a sister, we were discussing children. How much work they are, and how it really never ends. I mean the challenges just change as they get older. Yet some things in life do ease with age, for instance the help that you can receive from your kids. Don't feel guilty or wonder if you child should be allowed to JUST be a child. Children's lives should be a joy and wholesome, but there is nothing wrong with teaching them how to labor with their hands.

I was thinking about how much help the boys give me on a daily basis. We have the chores all listed out, and the boys are pretty good about doing them. Now this doesn't mean that they don't need to be reminded, but they certainly know what is required of them and how to do it. This has made my life, of raising five sons, so much easier.

However, training your kids to do chores, and to do them right really needs to be started while they are young. The thing is that it is easy to overlook the little ones if you have older ones, at least for me. Sometimes breaking out of the rhythm that the older two finally know how to do a great job on loading and unloading the dishwasher is hard to let go of. I mean why should I have to train Levi all over again? Nevertheless, I have, and I have been allowed to lighten River's load so he can work outside the home. This doesn't mean that River doesn't earn his keep around here. As long as he doesn't have to pay the bills around here, but he gets to enjoy the fruit of Dad's labor, he will have chores.

So this had left me to look at my six year old, Abram. He had learned to be a bit helpless at times. This had worked for him. Everything was too hard, or he was just too tired, but these excuses wouldn't fly anymore. I admit they had me questioning my chore giving abilities for windows of time, but then I realized I was getting milked like a jersey cow. Enough is enough. I realized too, that by allowing his complaints to be heard, and by allowing him to skate under the chore radar that I wasn't doing anyone any good. Most of all him. His brothers didn't like or respect him, and at times would isolate him as if there was no camaraderie between them. By allowing Abram to behave differently, and by allowing him to form lazy habits I was affecting his future with his brothers as well.

So now, when he begins to complain about a chore, I step into the area of the chore, and I volunteer to watch him. You know, see just how heavy that old comforter is that he sleeps under each night. I have been told by Mr. Abram that it weighs a TON, and that he has to take naps in between each comforter corner. So I watch him, and that is when I can see if he is over exaggerating the labor (which has happened), or if he truly needs to find a better way to master the chore. Regardless, he always feels accomplished at the end of the task. Which is when I chime in the familiar old saying "Practice makes perfect, son." Now that he is starting to do more around here I can see that he feels more grown up too. He is looking at Roman as someone that he needs to look out for, and is even hopping up on the kitchen counter to get him a bowl or a sippy cup too. The take charge attitude is making him feel more confident and truly happier, which in turn makes all of us happier with him. Yes, the whining was hard to overcome at times, and it still sings its familiar tune once in a while, but I don't back down. Even if I want to, for this is what is best for him. Not just so he can figure out how to make a bed or put the silverware away, but because his brothers are aware that he has the same lot and are more compassionate and respectful towards him. That has it's own rewards!

So let's not raise children who are dependent, but ones who have gained independence, and hopefully one day, when they are ready to leave home they will be familiar with hard work and respect from their siblings. These are sure signs of success!