Wednesday, April 25, 2007

A Little Bit Of Training

Roman running after balls at McDonald's Playland.
Okay...Mr. Droopy Drawers snagged one!

The toddler that was a wee bit obessed with Roman, and the Mom who was exasperated.

I took the boys to McDonald's Playland the other day, and actually remembered my camera...Hooray for me!! Anyway it brought back many memories of when my three older boys were younger, and how I used to take them there all the time. Now, here I sat with my two younger boys, while my three oldest enjoyed the Athletic Club, independent of me. How time has a way of marching on.

When we arrived at Playland Abram was ready to hit the slides, but Roman sat on my lap scanning all the other moms and children. He wasn't sure he was ready to join in with the crowd. He is rather small for his age, especially compared to my other boys at 17 months, but because he is one of five, he can hold his own rather well.

He finally slid off my lap, and begin to roam into the baby section. He was really enjoying his new found freedom, and watching the other toddlers who were squealing with joy. However, after a brief time, a toddler who was much bigger and older than him marched over to see who Roman was. Roman looked a little taken back by the boy, but he looked him over as well. The boy was very aggressive, and began to slap Roman on the back. The mom of the toddler stood nearby, and reprimanded her son. The toddler would stop briefly, but than would try to manhandle him again. I stood there, watching over the two to make sure that nothing bad would happen.

The mom had her hands full with this little one for sure. He was so aggressive that he began to put his mouth on Roman's arm, and I rapidly intervened and said, "Uh oh...he is about to bite." The mom snagged the boy, chastised him, and placed him in a highchair for awhile. Relieved, I was than able to sit back down at my table, and watch from a comfortable distance again.

Soon Roman found his way to the basketball area where there were lots of balls. This was a little slice of heaven for Roman. He ran about trying to shoot hoops, all the while missing the baskets...hehehe, when this other little boy was on the loose again. He beelined it over to Roman, and began to toss the balls at him. Roman was backed into the corner and was very leary of the child. I had been snapping photos, and caught this one of the two boys. The mom of the boy stood nearby, and after a short time took him away again.

I thought about how mellow I felt about the whole thing. After all I was right there, and I could step in at any time, but more importantly I felt for the other mom. This child was an only child, and had no siblings to practice on at home. Some lessons are difficult to teach until they are hands on situations. I thought the mother was earnestly trying to stay on top of the child, but it was embarassing and exhausting for her.

Each time, she would look at me weakly and apologize. We briefly swapped ages of the boys, and I tried to be supportive of her. I mean I don't begin to know what goes on in her home, but she certainly didn't look lazy to me.

I thought about how much moms need to be told that we are okay, or that we are doing a great job. Yes, the boy needs some more discipline, but I know how challenging it was for me to teach Abram to share. After all, all his siblings were old enough that they didn't want his stuff, and would easily relinquish what they had to him. It was an exhausting process. I remember thinking, at times, that we may never master it, but we did. Through trial and error, though. Now Abram is one of my best sharers. Probably because we worked on it so much. Practice makes perfect, right?

It just made me think about how this lady probably felt when she left that day. My heart went out to her a little bit. It wasn't a big thing in my world really, but I thought about her getting into her car and the doubts that she would probably have as she drove home. I mean, who of us haven't had those moments? I would never sacrifice Roman to help teach someone else a lesson, but I would stand by and allow a little bit of training to take place. Sometimes, us moms, are the hardest on each other and ourselves.


Kim in Idaho said...

Trina, your blog hit home. I have been struggling with with the Mom thing lately. One of my older children did something he knew better than to do. It made me question my mothering. When I look back at my own teenage years, I know I did things and made decisions that displeased God and went against what my parents taught me. It really had nothing to do with their lack but my own. It is just hard with it is YOU that is the parent. (Thank God I had the opportunity to be washed clean) When I have grace I can see what I taught my children and the decision was theirs but when the adversary is there it is ALL MY FAULT! Boy, I need Gods grace, love, and guidance and YOUR prayers! The fire of the trial is mighty HOT!

Love you my dear sister!

meNmykids said...

So true! Because I have full house of children it makes me much more merciful to other mothers and kids. Training needs to be done, but just because something happens, maybe even more than once doesn't mean they aren't being trained. Every child will try to push the limits, it doesn't mean they are bad or that the mother isn't doing her job. My kids have done their share of bullying, but we have worked hard and they have learned too. I don't get upset unless something keeps happening over and over and over with no repricution.

Lori said...

What an amazing person you are!! Alot of people would have just made that situation worse. And I am betting that Roman can handle himself being the little man in a house of men! ha!

la bellina mammina said...

I agree with everyone above and admire the way you handle the situation Trina.

Trina said...

Kim: I completely understand, and I will remember to pray for you. God is good and merciful.

Gale: Exactly! We are doing the best we can so many times, and we are raising little souls, not robots.

Lori: Once upon a time I would have been upset, but I have been on the otherside before. Its not fun, and I have felt overwhelmed!

La bellina: Five kids later has shown me that it's not always

ablondeblogger said...

Amen to that, Trina! I don't think there's a mom in the world who doesn't question herself!

You were so sweet to try to make her feel better. In this day and age, that is so rare, and too often, people try to tear each other down instead (as I've sadly encountered recently).

God bless you for being such a wonderful mom and person!

marykathryn said...

Now that I have children of my own, I too see that they are not little robots who can be TOTALLY controlled by the push of a button...Like you said sometimes it takes real life situations to start teaching a child how to behave in that that manner. It was so great of you to be patient with that little family.
Little Roman...what a cutie..he was probably thinking, brow furrowed.."Back up Jack"

Jack-on-the-Lake said...

Oh I feel for that mom! I've had those days more than I care to remember. It is so frustrating to try to discipline correctly and then have those days where it feels like nothing is sinking in! Your story of learning to share is encouraging. To see a light at the end of the tunnel is sometimes all you need to keep going.

Trina said...

Dawn: I dont of any mom who doesnt have self doubt from time to time.

Mary:Ohhh he did have that infamous furrowed are right on the money! hehehe

Jack-On-The-Lake: I have gleaned some amazing things from other moms. And you are right, we all need to see the light at the end of that tunnel!

Mrs.Martin said...

That is so well rounded of a lesson, not to sacrifice your child to teach a lesson, but to also understand and give a chance for the mother to teach her own child. Hard to do, but so needed for us women who have the job to support each other and raise and protect our children.