Wednesday, March 08, 2006

What to Do....


So I was talking to a couple of my girlfriends on the phone the other day, and one of the classic quandaries came up. What do you do when Mom's with sick babies come around your healthy baby? Common sense says, "MOVE!" So let me rephrase that, How do you be polite when a Mom with a sick baby is allowing her baby to woller all over your healthy baby? So let me start at the beginning of our short tale.

The other day at the wrestling tournament my friend Mary was there with her little girl, who is under one year of age. She was sitting on the bleachers minding her own business, when a Mommy spotted her, because women with other babies have that radar on all the time. So this gal meanders over to where Mary is, carrying her little boy on her hip. Of course, Mary makes eye contact with her, and they look at each others offspring and tenderly smile. Which is then a silent cue for the other lady to sit down and converse. However, on closer inspection Mary notices that the little boy has a horrid runny nose. That's when the sirens, bells and whistles go off in her mind, and now the game of "Keep Away" begins. Now we've all played this game. It's exhausting! You try to listen to whatever the mommy is saying, all the while keeping your peripherial vision on the snotty nosed munchkin on her lap. No offense to the said baby, he can't help that he is running a temperature, can't breathe, and should be cuddled up in a blanket on mommy's lap at HOME. So Mary began to tell me of this dilemma. How the little boy kept trying to grab her little girl. Extending his hand and leaning towards her to lay a wet baby kiss on her healthy baby. So Mary was dodging bullets one after the other, while this mommy seemed to be completely oblivious. The little boy even layed his precious little congested head on Mary's lap. Which I replied, "Awww." And which Mary responded over the phone, "Well he probably had a fever!" I giggled and agreed. This went on for a period of time for Mary, when finally the whistle blew on Mary's sons match and so she was rescued and politely excused herself.

So it all seems innocent enough, but those are the worst Mommy moments. Where in your mind you are screaming, "What is wrong with you lady? Can't you see your baby is sick?", but on the exterior, Mommy etiquette, is to play it off as if its no big deal. So I was talking to my girlfriends about what to do in those types of situations. We could all talk the talk, but had difficulty walking the walk. It seems its always the really friendly sweet mommies that engage you, and so its challenging to figure out how to handle these types of situations. So the question today is how would you HONESTLY handle this type of dilemma? I say honestly, since its easy to talk about, but so difficult to do. So feel free to share your stories or tips.

14 comments:

momto3blessings said...

I think we have all been there. It is soo hard to have to deal with that and be polite about it. If i have to be out with mary when she is sick I make sure she stays away from other kids. But thats just me.

This story does remind me of something that happened to me when Micah was a baby. We were in line at the grocery store and Micah was on my hip facing out. I was busy talking with Joshua and then i hear this lady talking to Micah so I glance over my shoulder and give her a quick smile and thats when i notice this HORRIFYING site. She is letting Micah suck on her finger. I about DIED. I move him so her finger is removed from his mouth and i was in such shock i didnt say anything. I was In utter shock. What In the heck is this lady i dont even know doing letting my baby suck on her disgusting finger? Can you believe it. I think i suppressed this memory until your story jogged it out of my brain. LOL

Trina said...

Cheryl: That my friend is a NIGHTMARE! Just say it ain't so!! Isn't it strange how difficult it is to speak up, even though it's so WRONG!!

Nicki said...

It definitely can get tiresome when you are having to play the game of 'germ keep away'. I usually respond the way your friend did. Try to be as polite as possible, while at the same time trying to dodge the bullets and then escape at the first chance I get.

Baby Girl has had asthma problems since she was about a month old. So, if she gets the slightest cold, it can turn into something far worse and can lasts for months. So, the last year or so, I've been really cautious about avoiding situations like this. Avoiding them to the point that I won't even put my kids in Sunday School sometimes.

Trina said...

Nicki: Yes, its always scarier when your little one is susceptible to sickness anyway.

Cheryl: I was reading the comments to Levi just now, and he said, "Micah? Isn't he like 7?" I laughed so hard. I had to clue him in that this happened when he was a BABY...LOL

momto3blessings said...

Trina, Too funny. Yep Micah is now 8 years old. He was like 5 or 6 months old when it happened.

Beth said...

Oh man....Poor Mary. I hate when that happens especially when it is a person you don't even know. But then again sometimes it is worse when you know the person and you really don't want to offend them. I usually do the same thing Mary did. Just try to get through it and look for the first outlet. Then I just pray "Lord please don't let him get sick." But I know the feeling inside...it is horrible....you would think the poor little baby had the plague.

Adventures In Babywearing said...

I am enjoying your blog! You have a beautiful family. I guess if I am in that situation, then I find a un-obvious way to swoop in on my baby and pick him up and take him away from the "offender." Prayer is always a great back-up ; )

Joe said...

Good question. I have a friend who would have been painfully direct in that situation. She would have said something like "Can you move your sick child away from mine? I don't want to spend the next week listening to her scream and cry because you couldn't find a babysitter."

Trina said...

Steff: It seems so simple doesnt it? I completely agree. Surprised how many of us stay silent though.

Joe: Good for her really, because that is the truth. The whole point is to not have to endure our little one being sick, but it amazes me how many of women become tongue tied when we all feel the exact same way about it...LOL

Blondie said...

Eww. I'm so not ready to be a mom...

Trina said...

LOL...ain't it glamorous? Well when they are your own babies,you don't mind the runny noses. hehehe

Salena said...

Trina,
Seriously I get up and walk away, no questions asked! It happens all the time at church, it just isn't worth it to me to get my baby sick.

Nan said...

I definitely would chat and be polite but I would say, "looks like you're little guy has a cold. Has it been going around your family?" I would probably mention how we are just getting over it since it seems we are truly always just getting over **something** at our house! LOL! I can definitely say that I would politely ask that she not let her baby get too close.
I guess I'm an outspoken girl but I think there is a way to be outspoken and polite at the same time.
Having said all that I know for a fact that with more than one child it is just not always possible to keep your sick little one(s) at home until there are no mucouses flowing from any of them. Life goes on even with colds and odds are in this ladies case, her son had a tournament, she had to take him and leaving the baby home was probably not an option even if she had wanted to.
I don't know... that's just my take. Of course she could have been more sensative to the fact that others don't want their baby getting the bug and therefore keeping her distance or at least maintaining a "no touch" policy when possible.
**shrug** Toughie!
Nan

Trina said...

Salena: Well I think we do need to put the health of our own babies first for sure.

Nan: I am definitely guilty of bringing my baby out at times when they were sick. You are right sometimes you just have to, but just keep your distance. We are on the same page.