Sloppy Slop

These sorts of stories are supposed to happen to someone else. I am supposed to be the one on the other side of the computer screen giggling away and shaking my head, but this seems to be my lot more as I get older and older and have more and more kids.

The older boys ran to go get a friend and bring him back to our house for the weekend. In doing so they picked up a bucket of slop to give our pigs. Now if you aren't sure what slop is let me briefly explain it to you: It is left over food, that instead of throwing out, you save in a bucket to give to pigs. Anyway, we have a few families that have given slop to our pigs, well they are their pigs too. We own three pigs, and two are owned by other families. Anyway, we called the boys to let them know we were in a hurry, so we met them on the road and switched vehicles with them. Now if we had KNOWN that there was a bucket of slop in the back of the car we would have made sure it went home with the boys and that would have been the end of the matter, but we didn't. Boys had other things on their mind....as usual!

Anyway, Den and I hopped in the other car and began to drive down the road. We weren't very far down the road at all when we both smelled a putrid stench in the car. I thought it was odd because the car is fairly new (to us) and we haven't really had much of anything in it. I thought that may be the boys left a garbage bag in the back or something (that's another post). We rolled the windows down and continued down the highway. We decided to make a quick pit stop at McDonalds for one of their yummy vanilla iced coffees and therefore found ourselves in the busy drive-thru. As we were sitting there, with no air circulating around us from the outside, the rotten smell began to perfume the air of the car again. It was unbearable and so I told Den to pop the trunk and I would investigate. I calmly and quickly ran around to the back of the car. There were other cars lined up behind us so I was going to make it snappy. The trunk didn't budge so I patted on it a couple of times to signal to Den to push the button again. Then I heard the familiar unlatching sound and I raised the hatch, however when I glanced inside the back of the car I saw something that took me by utter surprise. It was a bucket, tipped over, with food all over the back, but the worst part, the part that made me scream without being self-conscious while standing in the drive thru of McDonalds were all the maggots! Yes, thousands upon thousands of writhing wiggly maggots. I couldn't believe my watery eyes! I quickly shut the trunk and ran around front. I am sure that the people behind us were extremely curious, and maybe even concerned, as to what in the world was in the back of our car that caused that sort of extreme negative reaction, but I didn't have time to worry about them, instead I hopped in the passenger side of the car and said, "We have a bucket full of old slop with maggots pulsating all over the back of the trunk." There I said it, and I just calmly looked at him to see what he would say or do about it. So what did he do? NOTHING! We pulled forward, paid for our drinks, calmly put straws in our coffees and drove out of there, all relaxed like as if we didn't have white maggots mating and multiplying in the back of our car.

As we turned the corner we had a decision to make, go ahead and drive to our previous destination and let the maggots have their way with our car, or drive home and have the boys go on a maggot cleansing. Obviously, we chose the latter and burnt rubber down the highway.

I called the boys to warn them that we were on our way home and that we weren't happy. I told them to grab something to try to get the rotten food and maggots out of the back. When we got home we pulled up to the barn where the boys were waiting for us. I told them to check the trunk. Their friend (Reed) said it wasn't that bad at first. I was like, "Whhhaaaaaaahhht?" Then as they began to try to pick up the food they realized that the maggots were in layers and had started an ambitious colony in days previous to their discovery. Yes, even the boys were disgusted. I, of course, chimed in my timely girlie screams on perfect cue. Finally, they grabbed a shop-vac to try to get all the stragglers, we had to remove the cover, and the spare tire, scrubbed the carpet with hot soapy water, and eventually we felt good about the situation. We decided that we had time to still make it to our previous destination. We profusely thanked the boys for their help and headed out again.

The next morning it was time for church. I had gathered a few things that belonged to other people so that I could deliver their items back to them. Upon opening the trunk, again, we discoverd more maggots. Don't ask me how they got there. I'm not sure I even want to know. I just want to know that they will NOT be returning. So we have decided that no more bringing home slop buckets. This isn't the first time that a bucket of slop has been left in one of our vehicles, by accident, from one of the boys. It's easy to do. We have a lot of people leaving the vehicle, a lot of things to bring in to the house, and therefore a bucket of slop is easily overlooked.

In any case, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger......I guess.....