Son #6 Is Here!!

Now Introducing Boaz Alexander....



This little bundle of Joy weighed 8 lbs. and whopping 21 3/4 inches long!

How precious is this face?!?


I, Mary, have the privilege of presenting this beautiful baby to the blogging world for all to see.
Trina's labor from, start to finish, was 3 1/2 hrs. and even though it that might seem like a short spurt of time, lets not kid ourselves ladies..It was still Labor..hehe
Trina did amazing (no shock there) and the Lord saw fit to again bless this household with another son!
Trina is doing great and feeling good and Baby Boaz is following in Mommies footsteps. We are so happy for them!
Welcome to this world Baby Boaz!!!

Pregnant Me

When you are going through a trial it feels like an eternity, but when you look back you barely remember all the details, in fact, most of the time you don't. This is a trial for me in some ways, but I know that when I look back at this time I will only have a few flashes of memories. Maybe it will be how my hips felt like they were so loose that I was leaving them behind everytime I got up and walked around or turned over in bed. Maybe its how much I have pleaded with the Lord and wondered if I was able to bend his ear at all....or how I have looked at my sister's stiff upper lip, but knew that she was homesick for her husband and toddler. I am sure I will take away a few things, but all in all I will remember how the Lord rescued me with a precious baby in my arms.



Everything feels secondary right now. My closest friends all comment on how quiet I am, in comparison to my normal existence. It has been good for me, but I long to be back on track. As us girls drive somewhere I find myself drifting away from the conversation and just longing to have this baby. I feel so removed from my normalcy that Den and I went to make some furniture purchases and I truly didn't care what he bought for us. Now if any one knows me than they would know that this would be a very exciting ordeal, one that would fill me with great anticipation, but instead I have to keep reminding myself that the purchases will be delivered on Friday. I don't want to come across ungrateful for the furniture at all, but I almost feel like I am living in a dream state right now, and that none of this stuff (besides giving life) matters. What is a recliner, computer chair, and dining room set when our sixth child is coming? lol I'm so sorry honey.....I love ALL that you do and I am appreciative of the beautiful gifts, but I am not truly here right now.



So to my family and friends who are with me right now.....be patient with me. I will be back soon, but for now I have nothing left to write, or say, and I am not capable of keeping up with my former self. Please keep walking alongside of me, and eventually we will be on the other side of this, with a beautiful baby in my arms.

I Know You Want To Know

Hi there everyone!

Well I was asked by a few to PLEASE post again to let everyone know what is going on, so I thought that I should. Thank you for the private emails either congratulating me or praying for me, it is very encouraging.

Noooooo baby yet though! Ugh! I was due Saturday and that day came and went. I had hoped and felt it would be Sunday, but that day came and went right alongside of Saturday. I stayed busy however, knowing it would be a difficult day to let slide by inconspicuously. So Bro. Rusty and Sis. Mary invited the entire church over for dinner (we had a lot of visiting brethren in for meeting even), so our family brought over a pot of homemade sausage potato soup and broccoli and cheese to join in the craziness. It was good for me to visit with all the sisters and keep my mind on other things besides baby.

I am trying not to get too discouraged waiting on this little one. I know that God has His own good time, I wish our time zones would line up, however.....hehehe Nevertheless, EVENTUALLY baby will come....*sigh* I will have someone post, I promise, when baby arrives. Sis. Chantel is staying with us right now, and of course my sister, so between hubby or one of them I will NOT leave you all hanging......

So for now....I am trying to put on patience......and the Lord knows that this is one of my weakest areas, so the test is on! LOL

Due Date Picture

Well today is the day that this little one is supposed to take his/her first breath of life. Will it be the day though? I have no idea. However, it feels really good to finally make it to March 15th. It is a long 9 months, but when you consider that an entire human is being made it's a very short time.

So now we shall wait....pace....wait.....walk around.....wait....but soon, hopefully shortly, baby will be in my arms. Thank you for the prayers and please continue to keep us there.

Selfish Prayers

How to pray. I mulled it over this morning after Den left for work. I had whined to him that I felt like the baby would never come. He made a funny quip about how he would come with a full beard, but we would love him anyway. I found it a little unsympathetic and a little irritating (hormones raging), but in the very next second I questioned why I didn't just appreciate his humor, after all what could he have said to make the moment right with me? Probably and realistically nothing.

Den knelt beside the bed after he was fully dressed for work. He said his sweet little prayer for me, and then headed out the bedroom door. There I laid on the bed with my large round tummy. The baby was awake, just like clock work. He tossed and turned inside of me fighting for his morning position. I thought about all the pains that I had in the night and yet was still pregnant in the morning. I rolled out of bed and sat at my computer and noticed some good reading on the computer desk that Den must have left from the day before. So I nestled back in to bed and began reading a magazine, but then my mind drifted over how to pray about this important milestone in my life. I am waiting to have this baby and feeling discouraged when I am still holding on to the baby within. I began to contemplate how selfish my prayers can be if I'm not careful.

Now I find no harm in praying for a safe delivery and all that this entails. I find no harm in praying for a healthy baby either. No, its the specific prayer of timing that I need to be patient and careful about. I don't know the day, nor the hour that the Lord wants this child to enter this world. I don't have an understanding of all the little things that the Lord is working out that have nothing to do with me. I have a midwife who is very busy and is praying about her own personal daily happenings, I have friends who are traveling a distance to come and be with me during my hour of need, my sister is here to help deliver but I am confident that God is using her for other good deeds too, this I am sure, even Mary has a little girl who has been sick the last few days. Therefore, this isn't ALL about me. Instead of thinking about only myself and my own desires there is so much more going on behind the spiritual scene. I must be careful what I pray for and try to listen to God's will; not just my own desires. It's hard, I will admit, but my own desires can be so selfish and then they begin to make me unhappy, leaving me with the hollow question, "Why, oh Lord?" I am not more content by asking God to give me what I want NOW, without saying and truly meaning "God's will be done". This is hard for a mother in waiting, however I do want this to be a positive spiritual experience for all who are meant to be involved.

So today I will be more patient and more long suffering, and I will try to pray more earnestly about God's timing rather than my own blind wants.I have enough experience in my life to know that this is when it ALWAYS works out for the best for me and beautiful testimonies abound.

Warning: If I go overdue I may start whining again.....LOL

Getting Close

Me at 38 weeks along.

Roman in my arms still asleep. He wondered downstairs after a deep nap. His head was still sweaty as he curled up in my lap. I held him, rocked him, patted him and savored my delicious toddler for a little longer, nevermind the baby within that was fighting for space on my lap too.

The last couple of nights have plain worn me out. It seems that my body is playing tricks on me, but I'm NOT laughing. I am feeling yucky throughout the night, and when I say yucky I mean cramping and such. I know that these are all good signs toward getting closer to birth, but by morning I can barely peel my eyelids apart. However, after a few hours of sunrise is under my belt, or I should say stretch paneled pants, I feel more normal again. Which I am thankful for, but on the otherhand frustrated by.



Last night was a wonderful reminder of what menstrual cramps feel like. I grinned and bore it all night long, but by the time Den awoke for work at 5am I gave myself a warm hot pad to ease the tension and tried to drift back to sleep.


It didn't help that Roman has been having his nighttime sleep issues again. He is bed hopping all night long, and I am willing to let him since I feel like I'm in prelabor mode at night. However, as the light of the hall beamed in on Den, Roman and myself I watched Roman dream. I thought about how quickly they grow up, and yet in other ways he is still a baby....my baby. I know that he will struggle with the sight and idea of a new little one at first, but later in life he will thank me for the close relationship he will have with his, 2 year younger, sibling. I watched his naked body twitch while in his diaper, and realized it won't be long before we are squeezing another diaper bound baby next to us. I am more and more ready everyday. After all, these preliminary labor pains are weakening my resolve to wait it out. Not that my resolve has anything to do with it.

Sister Time

Not having seen Teresa for over two years has been strange. We talk almost every day when she is out in Oklahoma, but getting to visit about our lives and being a part of each other's lives is very different. It's amazing how much I miss her. I think the longer she is here the more I realize how much I am missing. When all the kids are around it is hard for us to get any serious visiting in. Even though we have a large crew of teens they seem to dominate our world a little more, and so we find ourselves being better listeners to their interpretations of the world than us leading the conversations. So having Uncle Colin, India, Alexis, Wyatt, River and Isaiah gone this last week has given us sisters a chance to catch up. All that we have had at home with us are; Levi, Cortez, Abram, and Roman. I know that this is still four, however the three oldest have been quite content to play on their own, so it's been nice and relatively quiet.

Anyway, I am watching how she does things and I find it sort of intriguing. We fold our towels the same, she puts importance on the same things that others may consider small, she puts her kids to work just as I do, we have the same philosophies of family and religion, and when I talk about my husband and his odd antics she can completely understand. It's a comfortable joy. I can't tell you all the things that we buy for our clothes, home, and even small accessories that are EXACTLY the same. We have always done this, but to be continuing to do this through the years with so many miles between us seems amazing.

Now, let me explain that we are very different too. Most people will tell you that we may look similar, may have married brothers, may have large families and such, but we have very different ways of expressing ourselves. Our backgrounds and our basic life canvas is so closely related that it colors our world the same, but we have our own unique flair too. Having this time away has allowed me to see our relationship a little bit differently. I can actually stand back and see it instead of just experiencing it, if that makes any sense. It has been such a joy and it has made me giggle to see the tiny and not so tiny details that make us sisters. I'm just really really happy that she has come. She doesn't complain at all about missing her family, but I know how hard that is. After all she is a wife, a mother to five children, and there is always labor to do on her own homefront, so to have this large slice of time divided off for me and my family is very generous and I feel very spoiled.

Baby gifts!

I got the sweetest surprise today at a luncheon for my sister's birthday, and I wanted to say "thank you" to the girls who were so thoughtful.

You see, when I was pregnant with Roman in 2005 I joined a pregnancy board. The board was full of women who were due in November of 2005. There were quite a few ladies on that board and we sort of built a bond with one another during our pregnancies, and we savored every successful birth that came, one by one. As time went on the large group of women dwindled, however after several months a smaller group of those amazing ladies formed and now we have our own private board of November toddlers, it's called "Mamatalk".

These gals came together and bought me gifts for my new upcoming baby. It was such a surprise to have all these goodies spread out before me and I was amazed at how sweet, thoughtful, and wonderful they were. Thank you girls! I have said this before, but it's worth saying again, "You gals are an amazing group of supportive women, and thank you for thinking of me. I am really touched by your generosity."

Special thanks to: Jenn, Cheryl, Salena, Carol, Christine, Colleen

Interesting Poll

Well well well.....so the majority thinks that I am having a girl. I have to smile at your optimism....hehehe I voted, as well, but I voted for a boy because I do believe that a boy is what I will be blessed with. Nonetheless, it's been fun to see the poll numbers dividing and headed towards the pink. I guess only time will tell, and it's not over til the pregnant lady sings....hehehe

In the meantime, I have dropped and I am anxious to get this over with. I think Teresa has the patience of a saint since I reiterate the famous lines over and over, "I just want to get this over with" and "I can't wait to get my body back." Her wonderful and patient answer is "It won't be very long now."

I want to enjoy this last leg of the journey, because I know that once the little bambino is here I will be exhausted. However, I am looking forward to the exhaustion just so I can see who he is, and what he looks like. I have the sweetest thoughts of my new little baby, so now all I need to do is to get him here (no big deal, right?).

72 people polled

38 said girl

31 said boy

3 said that I wasn't pregnant, but I had an oreo addiction....hehehe

I'm Stuffed!

Oh my goodness I don't think I could feel as full as I do right now. The uncomfortableness of it all is at the maximum level. This baby is officially crammed in there, and we are both squirming about for room. I have found that my eyes are way bigger than my stomach when it comes to dinner time. I think I can eat a plate full of food, but 3/4 of the way through I can barely breathe. I find myself arching my back and putting my hand on the top of my belly. When I think of the fact that I still have 7 weeks to go I wonder what sorts of positions I will find myself in.

I am FINALLY starting to feel like I need to get things done. I think this is the latest that this "nesting" urge has hit me. Sis. Cherrie brought me out a lot of baby boy clothes from her little Samuel, and I had just dragged out my boxes of infant clothes too. Now they are all sitting on my bedroom chair staring at me. You see I have no place to put them just yet. We have more human bodies residing in this house, than we do dressers. Den and I are needing to make an Ikea run to get our closet ready for baby paraphernalia. For some reason the desire was just not there until Sis. Cherrie came. Of course, we went to see a brand new baby on Saturday, and that may have triggered something deep within me....lol

The baby was only a little over 5 pounds, and I am serious when I say he was as cute as a bug's ear. I swaddled him for a bit, and then I generously shared him with Den for a good rocking. That was all there was to it, we were smitten. We are officially ready for our new baby to come. Now to get EVERYTHING else in order.

Nothing Fits Me!

I feel like everyday that I look in the mirror I have to wrap my mind around what it is I am looking at. This body is constantly mutating while I sleep.

I got out of bed, went to the bathroom (let's just assume I do this little activity about 25 times a day), and went to my closet. Now my closet is pretty big, but you would think I own NOTHING when it comes to pregnancy apparel. I have refused to buy a whole lot with this pregnancy because everytime I go to the maternity store hoping to do the "let's fall in love with something" dance, in that itty bitty fitting room, I am mortified. I turn in to the biggest grouch ever, and normally leave empty handed, but with a horrible attitude about my body. Poor Den when he goes.....it's not pretty! I vow to never eat anything sweet again during this pregnancy and whine about how we NEVER go to the gym. He says very little, which is wise, because he is in a losing battle with "hormone woman"!

So I am standing in my vast closet spinning around hoping that something is hiding that will make me look like skinny Nicole Ritchie. However, to my disappointment, day after day, nothing appears. I have put on clothes that are baggy and moveable, but honestly it only makes me look and feel bigger than life. I try to squeeze on tops that were PRE-pregnancy but somehow the material refuses to cover my large bust and belly, and I am fighting the unsightly gaps while just quietly standing in the closet, (nevermind me actually doing any sort of activity in it). *sigh* Ohhhh how I miss the days where I went to bed one size and shape and got up the exact same size and shape. Maybe even a little lighter after no eating for several hours in a row.......oh how those days are a distant memory.....lol

I went to Target with Mary. She was purchasing a bunch of amazing clothes for her trip that is coming up, and I decided that I was going to buy a couple pairs of sweatpants. You know something to just lounge around in while I am doing housework. I giggled at the XL that I was about to purchase, and even held them up to Mary. I said "I'm just gonna do it", and "I dont care that they are big and will probably give me the option to fill them out even more in the days ahead." I declared that I just wanted something comfy to spend my remaining pregnancy days in. She was very supportive as I bought them.

I got home with my tightly fisted Target bag. I couldn't wait to peel off my maternity jeans, and to put on some soft, pliable, stretchy sweats. They were the kind that gather at the knee a little bit, so they were even a little sporty (in their own way). I excitedly told Den of my purchase and ran to put them on, obviously in hopes that I might look cute in them too. I went in to my downstairs bathroom, stripped down to my scivvys, and grabbed one of the sweats. I anxiously put one leg in, and then the other. Thankfully, my feet fit through the holes, because it wasn't as easy for the remaining parts of my body as the pair of sweats drew closer and closer to my rump. I fought those babies all the way to the top, and then I just stood there. That's right, I just stood there looking at myself in the mirror. First of all, they weren't cute. It looked like I had stripped my jeans, bought a can of gray spray paint, and did a little number on myself. The pants were so grotesquely tight that there wasn't much left to the imagination. I spun in a tight little circle, because I couldn't believe my eyes. I mean it wasn't but an hour earlier that I was giggling with Mary about my XL, and, now, here I was in my house, in my bathroom, unable to step out in front of my sons for fear that the sight of this pregnant woman would keep them from ever giving me grandchildren.

Eventually, I came to the mind that the sweats would have to be taken back. I quickly took them off, and I mean quickly. I knew how I felt after my maternity store episodes. Its like a toxic drug that it gets in to my system and it turns me into Dr. Jeckle and Mr. Hyde, and Den, innocently, has to pay the price. So I stepped out of the bathroom and joined the crew that was in the family room. Den asked me how come I didn't have my comfy sweats on. I shot him a look that said, "Don't go there!" Trust me.....he didn't go there.....hahaha

Those pants found their way back in to the white and red Target bag, and back to the store before a blink of an eye. I have tried not to think about that moment and how it all went sour, but I have to admit that it creeps back in to my psychy every morning when I do the closet dance to start my day......

9 weeks to go girls!.............

Choices

How many of us have had guests over for dinner, unexpected, unannounced and it ended up being a heart warming experience? Even though it may be stressful, or catch you off guard there is a warmth in sharing dinner with guests that can't be compared. Having a house full of boys means that there is plenty of playing and bonding. Yeah there have been some broken windows in our lives, but windows can be replaced.

The basketball team that we call our family has its ups and downs, that's for sure, but the house would be dead from silence without them.





There are days that I question what was I thinking; having another baby on the way, when I feel like my plate is already so full. I know that I will have enough to give to this little one, and I am excited about meeting him. Nevertheless, I also know that my reserves feel low right now and I don't see things getting a lot better in the near future. So what was I thinking?



This is the first pregnancy that we haven't been receiving accolades from the world. There has been a lot of disbelief, and a lot of people not understanding our logic, (not that they ask or truly want to know what guides us). On any bad day I can let this get to me. I mean who doesn't want to have people receive the news that another precious baby is on the way only to have them give you the warmest congratulations? I know that it does my heart good when someone is heartfelt with their joy for us. However, thankfully, I am not easily influenced by their misunderstandings. Luckily, my bar of success is measured by a different standard all together. I am not going to be one that goes out and makes a living for our family. Success isn't going to be measured by how much money we have in our bank account, at the cost of all other things. Don't get me wrong, Den and I are careful with our money and we try to be wise with it, but I also know that my world isn't centered around it. There have been plenty of times we have made decisions, spiritually, that didn't center around money, and in fact we have sacrificed it for the greater good, plenty of times. I am just saying that how society measures success isn't by biblical standards anymore, and this makes me sad. I think a lot of people miss those days and standards, but get sucked in to thinking that those are fond, distant, Norman Rockwell memories that can't be relived or regained. That those are just stories or paintings to be swapped by those who had little and/or knew little. This is so untrue. The reasons those paintings and stories strike a heart chord is because they are what life is truly all about; family, love, and savoring the little things that we bring to each others world.



Today, society believes that someone can find complete fulfillment and joy by other rewards, monetary and materialistically. People get home late and rise early to work their entire lives away for some worldly/ outward goal that at the bedside of the sick means nothing. This is why it is so important to yoke yourself with those that are equal to you. I mean, have relationships in your life that you admire, and who will encourage you along these biblical standards. Who of us could withstand the pull of today's society all alone? Not many. It is easy to begin feeling the pressure of keeping up with the Jones', or feeling like our children keep us from doing the things we were "meant" to do, or wondering if we could have more THINGS if only we hadn't made the choice to have less children, or no children at all.




I don't see how that we could make the right choices/ good biblical choices without the support of like minded people around us. Not all of my friends live exactly the same lifestyle as myself, but the majority do or try. So any given day that I may feel low, or my flesh questions my choices, I know whom I can call to encourage me; remind me of what our purpose in this life is. For who of us aren't weak from time to time, or wishes we had more? We all need to realize that our life is but a vapor and only appeareth for a short while, so let's leave our legacy behind, and the only legacy that matters are the generations (that we teach, love, sacrifice for) to come.

30 Weeks and Counting

Okay this is from Sunday. I am 30 weeks in this photo. I will have some weight to take off after this little one makes his presence known...lol However, we are getting closer to the home stretch, and I am a happy girl. I am ready to move on and to have the baby here, however there is a lot to be done before I am really "ready" to deliver. So I need to get busy.

Den and I went to the coast this weekend again. We are trying to snag some private mommy and daddy time whenever we can before this little one arrives, because after he gets here we will not be leaving him behind for any long spurts for quite a while.

We left Friday night and got back in time to go to church on Sunday. The weekend was exactly what we needed. I am so thankful for our moments that we have been able to steal. Thanks to my boys for being such good, sweet, and responsible big brothers, otherwise these weekend getaways wouldn't be possible.

Pregnancy Battles

I have found that with this pregnancy I worry about things far more. At least I hope that its related to my pregnancy and not going to be the norm forevermore.

I find myself tossing and turning in the middle of the night, since insomnia is another onset of my pregnancy,and this gives me time to dwell on things I can't control. I try to spend this frustrating time praying, or when I began to play out how I would handle a situation (that may never arise) I think about all the difficult trials that I have bowed my head in prayer and God has rescued me. This gives me solace, but it is, still, a continuous conversation I have with myself, when I am pregnant, in the wee hours of the night.

I dont know if this is because I am bringing another soul in to this world and the weight of that responsiblity feels so great to me that I began to overexamine my shortcomings, or what. All I know is that I am ready to move past it.

I have found that I am more tired (of course), a little more grouchy, and I am not interested in ANY changes in my life right now. It seems if Den brings up an option of some way we are going to transform our lives I almost panic and become quickly discontent with the conversation. I wondered why, while on the way to church last night, that I was having such strong reactions to something, when it hit me that my pregnancy hormones and the adjustment of a new life coming soon must be the culprit. Call it the nesting period, I guess.

I had to apologize (again) for my short, curt responses to him earlier, and I explained that now is not the time to dream with me about all the "what- ifs" to come. After all, I do plenty of that in the middle of the night, and it leaves me exhausted.

Baby Baby Baby

Trying to figure out if I am turning into a Hunchback with this pregnancy. LOL Im hoping its just my shirt, but maybe this sixth pregnancy has finally done it!

I haven't bought anything for this baby yet. Not that that is unusual for me at this stage of my pregnancy. It's always hard for me to get too excited about purchases since I don't know the gender. I am not a green or yellow lover when it comes to baby clothes anyway. So I am waiting. I have quite a few baby boy stuff, although Roman was born at a different time of year in a much harsher climate, so there will be some new digs purchased for sure. Plus I think buying a few new things is one of the things that makes a new baby fun.

I am starting to feel quite pregnant. Having to be careful to not overeat at meals or I feel miserable. Not laying on my stomach at night, which is a huge sacrifice for me. Having people look at my stomach when they are firsting eyeing me. These are just a few of things that let me know I have crossed over....lol

My favorite part is when you lay on your back and you can see, and feel, the baby move. Little movements here, quick jerks there. It's amazing to really think about a 10.5 inch baby (head to heel) in there. Last night was the first time I shared the news with Roman. It had to be done since he thinks I am a human bean bag. He was trying to get his little round diaper clad bum comfortable on my lap when I was gasping and removing his elbow from my belly button time and time again. So I said, "Ow Roman...baby" while pointing to my stomach. He thought it was funny and turned around to look at my belly. I said it again, "Baby" again pointing. He then followed suit and pointed to my stomach saying, "Baby". We played this harmonious little game for about 15 seconds til he began getting more excited and started pushing on me and smacking me around. I was like "Okay okay....geesh...enough little man!" Soooo I think he sort of got it, or..... maybe NOT!

To The Woman Who Wants A Child

My computer is back up and running. It has some problems still, but after some finnigling I got it revived. Yes, we lost everything that we hadn't backed up (which was most of everything), but we don't have to replace our computer right now. So that is a huge blessing in my little world.

I am about to be 20 weeks pregnant. This pregnancy is going by fairly quickly. I am sure it's because of the busy house of children I have, already. I feel like the time is sneaking up on me more and more. I took Levi, Abram, and Roman with me to Barnes and Noble yesterday. Levi wanted to buy a new book, and the other two boys love to browse. I sat in the Winnie the Pooh section for children, and Roman brought me flap books that we looked at together. He loves this time, and admittedly, so do I. As I headed back to the suburban, and I was hoisting him back in to his carseat I started to do the countdown of when the next baby will be here. I felt a bit of panic come over me, because I had this sudden realization that a new baby, in an infant carseat, and all the things that must go in to the store each and every time, would be a huge change, again. Roman isn't quite two, and he, truly, keeps me hopping, but soon I will have two babies again. I secretly smiled, and yet worried too.

So this morning, as Den is at work, I hopped on to some blogs that I don't regularly visit. One is about a woman who is dying to become a mom. She has been trying for about 6 years. Her written words, across my screen, stung. Tears ran down my face as I read how earnest she is when explaining her struggle spiritually, mentally, and physically with it. She began to write in one of her posts about how she sees women who take it all for granted, don't appreciate it, and it all just comes so easy for them. I wouldn't necessarily put myself in ALL those categories, but I would say that it has came easy, and I know, after reading her posts, how I take it for granted. It made me feel ashamed. Not because I am unaware of God's mercies to me, but because I am not good about remembering all those who want just ONE child.

I don't look at myself as anything amazing because I have five, soon to be six (God willing), but I do take it for granted. Den and I have been blessed to be able to plan our children, only in the beginning of our marriage did we struggle. However, with good reason, God had a plan. Otherwise, the month we have tried, we have conceived. As time goes on, baby after baby, we tend to take things like this for granted, until you read or hear of another woman's plight. Then, for me, it makes me just stop in my tracks, and I let the tears stream down my face. Not just for them, but for my own heart. I want to be continuously grateful. I don't want something to be taken from me, before I truly appreciate all that I have. I try, I truly do, but after reading about someone who has NEVER had one, you realize how much you don't ALWAYS appreciate.

As I was typing this Roman can bouncing in. Not quite two he is still very much a baby. He is becoming more and more a little man, but he is still new to me. He is learning new words everyday, and I am amazed at the ones he chooses to use. He is unique, all his own. I picked him up to put him on my lap, he was needing some more reassurance, as most babies do at this age. I began to kiss on him as he squirmed, and I looked in to his eyes. His deep, dark eyes that have long eyelashes that curl up on the edges. He has a perfect little nose that looks just like Den's, and his lips are perfectly pouty. As he gleamed at me innocently I thought how heartbreaking it would be to not know what my child would look like. How I get to stare in to my children's eyes, each one, and see something new and individual in each one, yet something so familiar to Den and I. I thought of this woman who longed to see and know one of her own. I kissed on him some more as he happily wandered off to find his brothers.

So here I sit with another one growing inside of me. I remember when Roman was born, I said, "Ohhh...he is really cute!" hahaha This makes me laugh a little, because we all think our babies are cute. But I can think back to that moment, and know that I will have another time in my life of experiencing that (again Lord willing). I think often of how much these children have changed me. I am a better person with this many children needing me, and obviously I needed one more. Maybe its because I wouldn't be who I am supposed to be with only two children. I needed six to mold me and transform me in to the soul I need to be to grace Heaven's door. Maybe these other women have it more together, and don't need to be bent as I have been. These children have made me do things I never thought I would. None of my friends will tell you that when we were teenagers that they saw me having six, but the Lord sure did. He knew, and it has been so good for me. So good for my flesh, my soul, my heart and opening my eyes to other people and eternity. I needed more work, maybe more than others......lol I smile and giggle, but I find so much truth in those words.

Anyway, after such a long post, I want to be more thankful. I don't want to take my sixth pregnancy for granted. So I may have to lose some extra weight after this baby (no doubt), I will be more tired (again no doubt), I will have less things as I try to spread the wealth, and all these things are so good for me. So to you, dear woman who is trying to conceive, my heart goes out to you, and I want to be one of those women that you see that says "I get it, I am blessed." So thank you for the reminder of who I could be on Mother's Day, and may the Lord bless your womb soon.

16 Week Belly Photo

Well here is the baby bump. I am 16.5 weeks in this photo. I am beginning to feel faint movement from time to time, definitely not all day long yet. I need to start walking and trying to stay fit though. I feel sort of chunky right now, and I need to maintain a healthy weight. However, babies' health always come first. Anyway.....since some of you asked I thought I would put a quick tummy picture up for ya. Watch out though, because week 20 is when I normally wake up one morning and say to myself and the world "Oh my goodness I am EVER so pregnant looking!" hehehe

ANOTHER BOY?

There is a site that sells urine tests to see if you are having a boy or a girl. Its called Intelligender. Anyway, JaLea had an extra one that she had purchased, and so Mary brought it down for me.

Of course, I couldn't wait to try it out. Let me just say that it was NO SHOCK that it came up boy. Turned green as split pea with ham soup. So I think another boy is on the way, people!

Did you know that statistically that it is almost nil to have six boys in a row? It is actually easier to have six girls in a row than six boys. Anyway, I have to say that I am thrilled at the idea of having another boy. It would be a hoot to dress a little girl, but I am not complaining if the Lord chooses me to raise another son to hand down our lineage to.

Will I Make It?

I'm hoping that I will feel up to going to the Oregon Campout. As it is, I feel good in the morning and early afternoons, but then I take a steady decline around 2-3pm. By 7pm I feel sicker than a dog. Although, to be honest, I haven't really seen a dog sick on a regular basis. However, I still felt the pull to use that old cliche'.

So I get up in the morning, and I am scrambling to get things accomplished. Especially any out of house duties that need to be taken care of. I haven't been as sick for the hours in a day that I am normally plagued with morning sickness, but it really starts to bog me down. Den only gets to see me on the downhill slide anymore, since he doesn't get home til later. I am sort of a drag to come home to.

Thankfully, the boys are awesome about staying on top of their chores though. So Den isn't coming home to the sort of messes he did when I was first starting to build our family. However, things still drive me batty. I sat on the floor of Roman's room today, trying to comfort the screaming toddler, and it was working as long as I was sitting beneath him as we watched Curious George for the umpteenth million time. As I sat there, my eyes scanned the room. The dirty walls, the dirty closet door from all the children that have graced that bedroom in the last few months. I could see stuff shoved in the closet that didn't belong there, and I began to think about all the things that needed to be done before we left for the campout on Friday. I felt overwhelmed.

I know that some of this stuff will just have to wait. After all, it's not everyday I make a baby, but if anyone knows me at all, then they know that it drives me nuts. Thankfully, we are managing, and like I said I feel like I am in a mad dash to get a lot accomplished in the hours that I feel decent. I have to keep reminding myself that this is only a season, and it won't be long before it's over. Remind myself? More like an endless chant as I avoid corners and closets of unseen rooms.

Anyway, for now I am about to lie down again. It's 6:30pm and I am so nauseous. I want to be fun for Den when he gets home. Ya know, forget about fun I want to seem like I have some life in me when he gets home. Actually, I just want to be aware of the fact that he IS home....LOL.

Thank you for your prayers as I continue to weather the storm of morning sickness. God has been so merciful to me that I want to be careful to give Him credit. He has been generous when I needed it, and during the other times it may be His way of just slowing me down. After all, I'm not as young as I used to be, now am I?

Friend or Foe

New best friends:

Cheerios

Jalapenos

My bed (can't stand the smell of my pillows though)

Holey (okay I just realized that I had spelled holy as in spiritually pure or something...hahaha) oversized Levis

Hard boiled eggs

Fresh air

limes
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Worst Enemies:

Poopy diapers

Milk

Sentimental Commercials

Freshly dryed jeans

Smell of laundry

Irish Spring soap