Okay I am determined to blog again. I have a new sense of purpose. This is my legacy to my children so that they will never forget me....
The Lord has been speaking to me and I realize that writing is so very important to me and so my writing will continue on.
You know there have been times in my life where I didn't feel the Lord as close as I should have. Times that I wondered where He was at all; all the while knowing that it was only me that was missing in that important equation. Lately, I have been experiencing that emptiness. I guess. Maybe not truly missing it all together, but any degree of that makes me uncomfortable. How easy it is to let life run away with you and how quickly the day to day tasks of life can consume your every thoughts; and prayer becomes an after thought. Not okay. I was sitting in meeting last Thursday night and Den had got down to pray. Then I realized that I wasn't really seeking the Lord with my heart to pray, so I began to examine myself, and truth be told I didn't really want to openly pray. After all, I had a lot of things I needed to apologize to the Lord about and NOW wasn't a good time, then again NOW never seemed to be a good time, lately. Then I realized NOW is exactly the right time. After I got up I felt lighter, but I began to feel a little blue. (How quickly my emotions run different colors.) The meeting was rather slow and I was becoming quickly discouraged with the silence. I was starving; I had come to be spiritually fed. I began to have a private conversation with the Lord in my head. I very clearly began to question the promise of where two or three are gathered there would His spirit be also, so I began to beg the Lord to make Himself known. I mean, there was several of us there that evening. No sooner had I concluded my petition when Den got up and said, "Brethren, where two or three are gathered there is His spirit also. Are you truly seeking it, or are you just in the room half- heartedly looking around?" Warm wet tears streamed down my face. It was a confirmation for me. Thank you God!
God has been giving me lots of little confirmations. Sure I could say well that was a coincidence or that was just common knowledge, but I know. I know in my heart who I am dealing with. The ALMIGHTY GOD! So today I havent felt great. I have been laying in bed with a heat pad considering my life and my relationship with Him. I'm not where I want to be. I'm standing too far, but He is God and I am but a servant; so I am going to pick up my skirt so as to get there a little faster and find a seat a little...no a lot...closer to my Lord. This way I can hear Him. I love when He speaks to me, there is no better feeling in the world. None.