All that I've wanted to do these last few mornings is stay in bed, but yet here I am sitting on the couch at 6:30am. I hesitated to blog this morning, wondering if I should keep my silence, wondering if I should set my blog to private, wondering how things could be so easily misinterpreted.
"Why do I blog" is the question that keeps rising to the surface of my mind. What are my intentions? It is so simple and clear, the answer bobs to the surface as fast as the question before it. I blog for me. I don't blog for money. I don't blog to persuade people. I don't blog to be some one I'm not. I blog to keep a journal of my thoughts and experiences. I hope to make a three-ring binder of all my entries for my family about my family. I don't want to forget what it was like (REALLY like) to be a mom. I want my boys and their children to know me, and to understand why Den and I are who we are today. I don't write gratitude posts insincerely. That is me. That is how I truly feel, and in writing down these emotions and rereading them later it motivates me to keep moving forward. These entries lay the foundation of my life.
My blog experience has been so positive. So positive that I've kept blogging for three years now. That is a huge accomplishment for me; for anyone. When I've contemplated closing my blog Den protests. He LOVES it! He reads it daily. In some ways it's my private message of "I love you" to him; reminding him what he is working so hard for everyday. Opening my heart and my eyes to a moment that he may not have been able to share with me, and trying to put them into words for him. In doing so, I am letting you all be a part of that. The encouraging comments and emails bless me and make me smile. They truly warm my heart. However, the negative ones are so surprising and disheartening. In fact, I can count them on one hand. I have a difficult time understanding the motive. If someone is offended or saddened by what I say I immediately go back to reread my post. Again, never finding any ill intent in them. I'm not sending out any hidden messages or have the intention of hurting someone.
I would hope that with this understanding that you would read my blog with the purpose that it is intended for. If it makes you smile continue on, if not, skip it and find one that does. Life is too short to be miserable.