Den called me to remind me that I had a blog...lol I remember honey.....hehehe I think it's so sweet that he enjoys reading it and other blogs while he has snippets of time at work. I love you babe!
In the last 7 weeks I have had so much to do and so much to think about that I haven't really enjoyed them. I am one that thinks about how short life is, and therefore I am a big advocate of enjoying and savoring the little things in life. I admit that I don't always appreciate them like I should or want to, and I will also admit that in the last 7 weeks I have been dragged around for the ride rather than enjoying the journey.
I was dressed and ready to go this morning and wanted to tackle my closet and the clothes that were dripping over brown cardboard boxes when the baby began to cry. I let out a big sigh that said it all. I wasn't wanting to postpone my burst of energy to feed the baby, but wanting and needing to feed the baby are very different things, so I picked him up and decided to sit in the recliner. I was going to take the time to do it right, instead of planting myself wherever I could find a place to sit to hurry it along. Nope, I had bought the recliner for this very occasion, and so the recliner would be the seat that I would use this morning. As I began to nurse him I started a steady rhythm of rocking, softly as to not upset his little tummy. I watched his tiny hand find my hand and he began to squeeze my fingers. I saw his eyes close and reopen as if he was playing peek-a-boo with the light behind me, and I knew that this was a moment worth enjoying. As I felt my body relax my mind began to release all the thoughts that it had been holding hostage for several weeks. I thought about motherhood, I contemplated each of my boys as I heard them doing their chores downstairs, and my mind drifted to River and how he was coming home soon. I thought about Den and how much I love him and I just want to be with him every chance I get. How I wouldn't be the mother that I am today without his love and support. This is when I realized that I was losing touch with life, with the joys of the little moments. How often we let life take over and we stop looking through our eyes like a lens of a camera. You know, seeing things as if they were a Kodak moment, instead of things that will come around again and again; Believeing if you miss it once you will have another opportunity to experience it, but will we?
Having a new baby and a new house are both very exciting and life altering, but both can bring on a lot of stress. I have felt stressed and tired, and have been counting down the weeks to when I believed things would become calmer. In that process I have wasted days and moments. Therefore, I sat in my recliner purposefully longer. Long enough to finish feeding Boaz and put him gently on my shoulder. He wiggled into his favorite position as I lightly patted his round chubby bottom. He melted into me and all I could feel was the weight of his body giving way to sleep. I closed my eyes for a bit and thought I am posting today. My mind was flooded with all good things that I wanted to share and/or remind myself of later in life. So on with my posts........