Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Time Out

Den called me to remind me that I had a blog...lol I remember honey.....hehehe I think it's so sweet that he enjoys reading it and other blogs while he has snippets of time at work. I love you babe!

In the last 7 weeks I have had so much to do and so much to think about that I haven't really enjoyed them. I am one that thinks about how short life is, and therefore I am a big advocate of enjoying and savoring the little things in life. I admit that I don't always appreciate them like I should or want to, and I will also admit that in the last 7 weeks I have been dragged around for the ride rather than enjoying the journey.

I was dressed and ready to go this morning and wanted to tackle my closet and the clothes that were dripping over brown cardboard boxes when the baby began to cry. I let out a big sigh that said it all. I wasn't wanting to postpone my burst of energy to feed the baby, but wanting and needing to feed the baby are very different things, so I picked him up and decided to sit in the recliner. I was going to take the time to do it right, instead of planting myself wherever I could find a place to sit to hurry it along. Nope, I had bought the recliner for this very occasion, and so the recliner would be the seat that I would use this morning. As I began to nurse him I started a steady rhythm of rocking, softly as to not upset his little tummy. I watched his tiny hand find my hand and he began to squeeze my fingers. I saw his eyes close and reopen as if he was playing peek-a-boo with the light behind me, and I knew that this was a moment worth enjoying. As I felt my body relax my mind began to release all the thoughts that it had been holding hostage for several weeks. I thought about motherhood, I contemplated each of my boys as I heard them doing their chores downstairs, and my mind drifted to River and how he was coming home soon. I thought about Den and how much I love him and I just want to be with him every chance I get. How I wouldn't be the mother that I am today without his love and support. This is when I realized that I was losing touch with life, with the joys of the little moments. How often we let life take over and we stop looking through our eyes like a lens of a camera. You know, seeing things as if they were a Kodak moment, instead of things that will come around again and again; Believeing if you miss it once you will have another opportunity to experience it, but will we?

Having a new baby and a new house are both very exciting and life altering, but both can bring on a lot of stress. I have felt stressed and tired, and have been counting down the weeks to when I believed things would become calmer. In that process I have wasted days and moments. Therefore, I sat in my recliner purposefully longer. Long enough to finish feeding Boaz and put him gently on my shoulder. He wiggled into his favorite position as I lightly patted his round chubby bottom. He melted into me and all I could feel was the weight of his body giving way to sleep. I closed my eyes for a bit and thought I am posting today. My mind was flooded with all good things that I wanted to share and/or remind myself of later in life. So on with my posts........

15 comments:

marykathryn said...

It is crazy how quickly life can pass you by and then suddenly you wake up and wonder where the time has gone. Your little Boaz is so precious, but you being in survivor mode is nothing to feel guilty about...There has been ALOT of change in your life, and you know me and change..hehe
You have done awesome, but I sure hope it slows down for you and your family...Love you guys!!
:-)

Sis Stubby said...

The stress is normal for you with all you have been thur. But do stop an smell the roses.They are only little once.

Kristen said...

your post is so sweet I too have been feeling rushed! my hubby had to force me to get out and go to the movies with him last night :) lol it's good to be reminded to take in each moment and enjoy it instead of trying to rush through your day just getting things done!

Jules said...

HEHE, I think that is awesome that Den makes sure you keep these blogs coming ;) Thank you Den, LOL. I know that when you feel motivated and energized to do something you don't want anything to get in the way, because it is very easy to lose focus on the project, but it sounds like your "distraction" was WELL worth it! That sounds precious. I LOVED the bond that I had while nursing. It's the best! Is River moving back to Oregon, or just visiting?

Laura said...

What a good reminder to enjoy the moment, Trina! Life is so much better when you can live in the moment and make the most of each one.

Leanne said...

Thank you sooo much for the reminder that I need to live in the here-and-now, instead of allowing cares and worries to sap all of my enjoyment and happiness.

I'll take your words to heart and consider them to be God speaking to me through you....

I'm blessed too.

Leanne in Longview

Cherrie said...

Life can get away if we don't stop and think about what's going on. I am glad you stopped and took in that time with the baby. Because before you know it he will be the size of Roman.

Fifi said...

You're such a good mom! I'm in awe the way you take life in your stride.

SOOOOOOO glad you're back! I've missed you!

meNmykids said...

You are so real. I love that, that you remember, and share it. I have also become caught up in the "get it done", scary thing is....nothing is getting done. Just treading water and still overlooking the beautiful NOW. Sometimes I let the hard things in life cloud my vision to the lovely things. I ought to let the lovely things overshadow the hard, eh? Welcome back, we've missed you. Sweet baby moment you shared!

"Neena" said...

Awwww... Babies are so sweet. I also love the feel of baby's weight totally relaxed on you. No matter if you don't know the baby nor it's family, that feeling is just RIGHT! It seems to me that it definitely contributes to the bonds of love.

Nomadica said...

I love how you try and understand yourself and your family so well, Trina..it's something I should learn from you. You're very brave :)

Anonymous said...

Hey babe, you know checking in on your blog is the highlight of my day!

Love Den at work

Marisela said...

It is important to take those moments and savor them. I think you do, and you really see them for what they are worth. Glad River is coming home. We have missed him too.

Mrs.Martin said...

Laughing at Mary's survivor mode comment, because I think of that phrase to describe you too.

As I read your sweet post of nursing your baby, my mind went back to nursing Wyatt. It went quickly for me, while searching to buy my kids their cars and daily life chores and company over to excuse myself out of the room. It went fast!

I can't wait to see the little boys again.

Lori said...

You have had some big stresses lately...it will all get done - just try to slow down and enjoy the little moments. (that's easy for me to say - I'm not the one with boxes sitting around waiting to be unpacked! ha!)