Thursday, March 20, 2008

Pregnant Me

When you are going through a trial it feels like an eternity, but when you look back you barely remember all the details, in fact, most of the time you don't. This is a trial for me in some ways, but I know that when I look back at this time I will only have a few flashes of memories. Maybe it will be how my hips felt like they were so loose that I was leaving them behind everytime I got up and walked around or turned over in bed. Maybe its how much I have pleaded with the Lord and wondered if I was able to bend his ear at all....or how I have looked at my sister's stiff upper lip, but knew that she was homesick for her husband and toddler. I am sure I will take away a few things, but all in all I will remember how the Lord rescued me with a precious baby in my arms.



Everything feels secondary right now. My closest friends all comment on how quiet I am, in comparison to my normal existence. It has been good for me, but I long to be back on track. As us girls drive somewhere I find myself drifting away from the conversation and just longing to have this baby. I feel so removed from my normalcy that Den and I went to make some furniture purchases and I truly didn't care what he bought for us. Now if any one knows me than they would know that this would be a very exciting ordeal, one that would fill me with great anticipation, but instead I have to keep reminding myself that the purchases will be delivered on Friday. I don't want to come across ungrateful for the furniture at all, but I almost feel like I am living in a dream state right now, and that none of this stuff (besides giving life) matters. What is a recliner, computer chair, and dining room set when our sixth child is coming? lol I'm so sorry honey.....I love ALL that you do and I am appreciative of the beautiful gifts, but I am not truly here right now.



So to my family and friends who are with me right now.....be patient with me. I will be back soon, but for now I have nothing left to write, or say, and I am not capable of keeping up with my former self. Please keep walking alongside of me, and eventually we will be on the other side of this, with a beautiful baby in my arms.

37 comments:

Anonymous said...

Well, I know I would be complaining like crazy but you have been soooo strong. Your gracefulness has been a comfort to me and with the Lords help , we will soon receive a wonderful blessing.

Love Den at work

Trina said...
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Trina said...
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Chantel said...

I am so sorry this hasn't ended yet. You are trying so hard to keep a good attitude, aside from the occasional sigh that escapes. I love you, you have been such a dear friend to me. I am praying, as I know many others are, that this will soon pass for you and you can get that little one here.

meNmykids said...

Keep on. We are praying, and everyone around you understands.

Kim said...

Trina, One of the wonderful benefits of being in the faith is having our loving brethren there to hold our hands up when they hang down, to look at us with the look that says, "Everything will be fine." Think on whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are lovely..... I know you know these things but these are the thoughts that help and keep you when your time does come upon you. Take comfort that the Lord knows the life within you. He has counted every hair on its head. He knows just how long he/she needs to be in there. We cant see past the nose on our face but he can. He knows what lies ahead. If you will just take comfort in knowing that God already knows the life he has created inside you it will be easier to wait. Dont look at it as a trial for you but that God is just finishing his master piece. Think on lovely things. As always, I will keep you in my prayers. And Honey.... "Everything will be fine". Be of good courage
**MUAH**

JoAnn said...

Just think Trina - this time next month you will be getting up in the middle of the night to take care of a baby! Now that is something to look forward to.

Sis. Lori P. said...

You know what? I remember getting really emotional right before my babies were born...sounds like you are there girl! Hold on...
My new url is now...

http://firstbornfam.blogspot.com

Your old link will not work since I took a certain sis.' advice about internet dangers!

Marisela said...

I know that feeling of really only being focused on baby getting here. But I loved "kim's" comment she had such encouraging things to say. Your post and everyones comments of love and concern brought tears to my eyes. It is great to see the love for one another. Your strong, and you can do this. I love the example you are. Lots of love and prayers!

Sister D said...

Trina,
Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your dear family right now. I'm thankful that you are surrounded by a loving Husband, your faithful children, the comfort of your Sisters hand and the love and prayers of God's people. We are all here for you if only in prayer. "only in prayer" doesn't sound like much comfort. But I know what just one more prayer can do. Much love to you

Sister D said...

Trina,
Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your dear family right now. I'm thankful that you are surrounded by a loving Husband, your faithful children, the comfort of your Sisters hand and the love and prayers of God's people. We are all here for you if only in prayer. "only in prayer" doesn't sound like much comfort. But I know what just one more prayer can do. Much love to you

Jules said...

Trina, I'm so sorry. I know EXACTLY how you feel. Blake stayed an extra 2 weeks inside my womb! Don't even worry about having to tell others, "Nope, not yet." Only God knows why this baby is not quite ready yet. you know, I want to just share my pregnancy story with Blake to you. I LOVE feeling movement. Ryan and I moved from Oklahoma to Colorado when I was 7 months preg with Blake. And I remember thinking, I was so busy packing that I didn't even take time to cherish the movement going on inside, and it made me sad that I missed out on feeling him move like I loved to do. So I really feel like God wanted me to feel that for 2 extra weeks ;) It won't be long. I know at this poing 1 week feels like 1 month, but it really will get here before you know it ;) Love and prayers. Julie

Cherrie said...

I remember feeling like my hips were always a step behind when I was pregnant with Samuel. You give me so much to look forward to. You are loved by so many and everyone knows what you are going through. In no time that baby will be here to grace you with its presents. And you will wonder were the time went. Lots of love and prayers......

Mrs.Martin said...

In my opinion you have been very strong and graceful in your wait. We both know the Lord has a plan for the time and arrival of this little one. I agree with Chantel the sighs are really the only outward sign of impatiences, but your sweet smiles and warm hospitality make the sighs hard to hear. You BE the woman! I love my dear sister and my prayers are for you hourly. This baby is going to be so yummy too.

Tiffany said...

Oh Sister Trina, the lord knew i needed to be pregnant along side of one of my sisters. I cried so much this morning. I'm at the point where i feel like i'll be pregnant forever and this is just how my body is going to be for the rest of my life. I know all things come to an end. I didn't realize how waiting could become a trial. I'm praying for you and i look forward o seeing the little miracles the lord has in store for us.

marykathryn said...

Oh my Trina......
Well I really don't think there is anything else that I can say that has not been so beautifully said my our sweet sisters. Just know that the Lord does know and hear all and even though your prayers seem weightless at times I know when that hour comes They will not be in vain. You are an amazing strength and comfort to many you know and many you don't know and I am definite in that. We Will continue to walk beside you and this journey will come to an end, and another path will open and we will venture down that path as well..together.
Much Love...

Shannon said...

Trina, I've been reading your blogs for some time now & you & a couple of other sisters is the reason I wanted on this "blogging world". Reading your blogs have at times inspired me, made me laugh, made me consider, & made me desire to get to know all of you "blogging Sisters". Hang in there. I'm praying for you. You are an inspiration.

kristarella said...

Trina...
This is a wonderful time between just you and the Lord.
You will not be shaken, only refined during this season of your life. Persevere and Paise the Lord.
Psalm 150
You are in my prayers my friend.

Leanne said...

You're handling this whole thing so beautifully!

And you're just where you should be right now. Your introspective, inwardly-turned, and it's totally natural and normal. It's your body getting ready to give birth and bring forth life! It's glorious, although it doesn't feel like it right now!

I remember those days of feeling like nothing else mattered but what was going on inside of me......and how I couldn't WAIT to hold a new baby in my arms.

You are doing so well. You are a credit to your husband, your children, and your God. I mean it.

Be at peace today.

Leanne in Longview

momto3blessings said...

I know it seems like an eternity but The lil one will be here before you know it. I cant wait to see him. Im praying for you!

Hugs
Cheryl

Cecelia said...

Praying for you. I know you must be tired.
Heavenly Father, I lift up Trina to you right now and pray that you will give her the strength she needs. I pray God that you will pull her up in your arms and encourage and bless her. Thank you Jesus for the precious gift of this child. I pray Father that this little blessing will come into this world soon !
In Jesus' Name I pray,
Amen

Blessings,

Cecelia

Leah said...

You don't ever have to apologize for taking a break. Rest is needful. Especially in your state right now. I cna't wait to see baby pictures though!
Hugs,
Leah

Tish said...

Oh, Trina, You really have been in our prayers. Sometimes I think waiting is one of the hardest things that God requires of us. I wish there were something I could do to help you get through this.

Michele said...

Hi, I'm a friend of "friends4Tea" & just wanted to congratulate you! You look wonderful, considering, although I know how uncomfy you must be feeling. I just had babies 5 & 6 - twins, last July. I was terribly uncomfy at the end. I had them at 36wks, my earliest, but they were scheduled. My last 5 children were c/s deliveries. If it's any consolation (might not be so I'm sorry!) I would love to wait on a natural delivery! I'm still so thankful to have them & would go through it all again for each one.

I will pray you have a lovely, easy delivery & healthy baby - soon! If you want to come visit me I've given my addy.

Blessings, Michele

Lori said...

Don't be so hard on yourself - your hormones are out of whack. You will be blessed in the Lord's time. In the meantime, I will pray for you! Hugs!

skylene said...

I just finished feeling that way and now that my Saylor is here I just keep thinking how precious he is and he is so worth everything.

Fee said...

Oh Trina....... we are as expectant as you!!!!! Can't wait to see this little blessing!
Love to you and Fam
Fee
xxxxx

Steff said...

I keep checking! I hope this means that there is a baby here or on the way. :)

Best of luck!

"Neena" said...

I'm sorry. But from the comments, it sounds like you are bearing it very well. So Good Job! You already know that God has His time. I don't know why this baby is taking so long, you don't know, the only One who does is God. Can you imagine having to bear this in the ripe old age of 90? Sarah must have been a strong woman! I'll continue to pray for you, and when God gives your body the okay, I'll be anxiously awaiting a picture.

jen said...

I'm praying for you!I'm trusting that God is in the midst of your pregnancy and a healthy future birth!

God loves you and this little babe beyond what is fathomable and seeks whats best; regardless of our perception of things. The more children we have, the harder the end is, I think.

God's there, Trina...he sees you waiting and hears your cry!

dakotablueeyes said...

happy easter

Diane said...

Happy Easter Trina! Checking in to see if there was any news. Continued prayers. eep)...and it wa

JoAnn said...

Dear Trina,

I don't know if you will read this or not, but I wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you and praying that your time will be soon. Although I am starting to reconsider the "too many Oreo's Option". Love You.

Steff said...

Hopefully, this little pause in the updates means a new baby is in your arms! Still...let us know!

Kalisha said...
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Fee said...

dropped by to see if lil' sprout had made his/her appearance yet!
Love Fee

"Neena" said...

I just clicked on the "36 comments" link!!! Here I am again.

I just wanted to let you know that I have set my blog to private. I have asked Aunt Chantel to give you my e-mail address so that you can e-mail me, and I can invite you to read my blog. I enjoy your comments, so please do...