The Lord's been working with me. As usual, its humbling.
Saturday, Den and I went for a drive threw a scenic area. It overlooked our beautiful city. We were headed home to our boys. We were enjoying the sun that lay over head, and the tree lined road that stretched out in front of us. As we continued to slowly wind down this road a beautiful, plush, green cemetery trailed alongside of us. It seemed to stretch on forever, it was so big. Pretty soon, we couldn't stop staring at all the tombstones that protruded from the ground, and I mentioned stopping in there to see how old some of them were. Den quickly agreed and we veered off our course.
We quietly drove our suburban through the quiet drive that lined the graves. Again, the weather was gorgeous. It was early evening. The sun was low but bright, and there was a crisp light breeze in the air. Den parked the vehicle and we stepped out quietly as I zipped up my sweater. We began to walk solemnly across the grass reading the inscriptions and tabulating the dates in our minds. Some gravestones were engraved with "loving mother", "loving father", or "beloved son". All were chosen with great care by those who were left behind. We realized that we ran across as many young deaths, as were old. There was no guarantee or promise, in this graveyard, of a long life.
We held hands as we strolled along. We placed our feet back upon the black asphalt to investigate another part of the yard. It was one for children. Den and I saw old photographs attached to the graves, and the years engraved were so young, that our throats were tight and tears streamed down our cheeks. We quickly agreed to leave that part of the cemetery.
The trees were ancient and large, perfectly planned so many years ago. It seemed odd to see such a vast beautiful cemetery without one other person visiting it. It was full of people that had died, and had imprinted someone's life or lives, yet the cars below us were driving by as if this place didn't even exist.
We discussed what was REALLY important in our lives. That someday one of us would walk atop the others grave, and that each time we have visited a place like this we have gained in years. The only comfort we could give one another was to make the promise to do our best to gain eternal life. To be waiting for the other beyond those pearly gates. Also, to worry about colleges, material things, or any earthly concern for our children, in this life, seemed futile and frivolous. Our only serious concern for our boys was to make sure we prepared them for this inevitable journey of Heaven or Hell. That all other things the Lord would have to bless them with. It came on a day that we had buried our minds and eyes in books on college admissions, and how to go about making our sons a success in this earthly life. Our day was consumed with such talk, but never once did we talk about their spiritual well being, not until that moment of the day. Then it was like the blurriness of our vision was wiped clean, and we could see their purpose more clearly.
We softly slid back in to our car. We drove down the road again, still alongside the eternal graveyard that seemed to go forever, when we saw a beautiful little alcove that overlooked the city. We pulled in to admire the view. This time we didn't step out, but as we were ready to pull back on to the road we saw a larger than normal tombstone laying in the grass. It had been in scripted with a very large poem, or goodbye letter. Den stopped the vehicle and read the words aloud. It talked about a fifteen year old's concerns of this life. She worried about the condition of our planet. She worried about the whales and the ozone layer. She was burdened with all the things that were out of her control. She wanted something greater and she felt that the only way she could relieve herself of this great trial was to take her own life. Den and I were stunned and silent when we read the poem to the end. We shook our heads in sorrow.
How quickly our children can become confused and heavy if we aren't careful. This young girl took on the burdens of this world, and because she wasn't the master of it felt hopeless and useless. She was confused about the one thing that she was the master of; her own soul's salvation. She lost track of her own true purpose while being infiltrated with the fears of this world.
Man was not made for the earth, but the earth for man. I don't want my sons to contend with the whales or the monkeys. I think its great to have compassion, and it's a beautiful quality, but I don't want Satan to get them lost and/or consumed about the things of this world. God is mighty and is in control of all. If we all prayed more, for all things, than the answers would be clear. This girl lost her way, and in that great loss her parents lost a beautiful soul.
It was the final moment, at the end of the day, that I came home to my children with more of a determination to not let ONE day go untouched without teaching them our true purpose on this earth. To serve our Heavenly Father, and to fight the good fight of faith until the day we die.