Monday, June 11, 2007

Discussions Of Having More

Do I dare say it? Or type it? Should I put it out in the blogosphere for all to read and judge? YES, that's why I blog! lol

Den and I are praying about whether we are THROUGH having children, or whether the Lord wants us to have more. It's harder than you think really. I mean I know some of you are thinking five boys, how many more do you want? The truth is, I really don't know. You see in many ways I feel very complete and done, but I have learned that what I think or feel is only one small part of the equation. Sure it's my body, my mind, and mostly my decision, but I have to weigh in with my hubby, the Lord, and even talk to the boys about life with another.


I went to Starbucks the other day.....*wincing at even mentioning my Starbucks addiction again* and I saw a beautiful young gal behind the counter. So I began to chat with her (shockingly no one was in line). I asked her how her day was going, and she began to complain about her morning sickness. Well that was it, that's all she had to say, and I was practically falling over myself to sympathize with her. She said that she was only 4weeks and 3 days pregnant, which made me smile, for that means that she took a pregnancy test about 72 hours ago...hehehe Anyway, this got us talking about my kids, and I thought she was going to pass out when I told her I had five sons, two of whom were with me in my oversized, difficult to push, racing car, shopping cart (we were at Fred Meyers, and, yes, they have a Starbucks inside....*giddy*). Obviously, the "race car" shopping cart means I had my two youngest boys with me. So she said, "Wow....five boys! I bet you want a girl!" I smiled and said, "Well a girl would be grand, but I LOVE having all boys too! It's easier having all one gender, so I can't complain."

The conversation continued on with her confiding in me that she would like to have two or three kids, and didn't think she could handle five. I laughed, and retorted that we may have ONE more! Again, I thought she looked a little woozy from my declaration, and worried she may hit her head on the espresso machine (before my carmel mocha had been made, and put into my sweaty little palms). Well this is when a lady strolled up behind me in line, and the Starbucks girl declared to her that I had five sons, and I wanted another. I turned and smiled a little sheepishly wondering what the lady was thinking about the fact that we were talking about birthing children while casually ordering espresso drinks. The lady looked me up and down, and said, "Wow!" Thankfully, the boys and I were dressed relatively nice, for there is sometimes the stigma attached with large families that they can't afford their brood.

After getting my hot cup of creamy joe I pushed my huge, clunky, boy filled, cart and felt like I at least LOOKED put together. However, a few aisles over a lady stopped me to tell me that my slip was hanging too low. So much for looking like a hip girly mom who had her act together, right? hahaha

22 comments:

meNmykids said...

I think that you are beautifully mallable to the Lords will and that is definately to be appreciated. Most people cannot understand that kind of selflesness. Children are a wonderful blessing, I hope your answer comes soon. Everyone thinks your act is totally together, the rest of us could only wish.

MommaLlama said...

Thanks for finding me... and what a great blog you have. Don't feel so bad that people are shocked... I get that reaction all the time and I ONLY have 3! And we definitely want more. Keep on keepin on is what I like to say!

"Neena" said...
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"Neena" said...
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"Neena" said...

So how did last night go, what with Roman already having all those hours of sleep under his belt? It must not have been too bad if you were going to Fred Myers! On the other hand, you had to get a coffee. Was caffeine in order after your long night? Lol.

Trina said...

Gale: Seriously, you are always too kind to me about how with it I am, but it sure is NICE to read..hehehe

momallama: It is so nice to read about others who love big families or at least the idea of it. Kids are just blessings, plain and simple!

Neena: Actually, Roman slept great!! So I am a happy Mama!! Caffeine is always in order for this girl! LOL

michelle said...

Wow ,that is great to be discussing that subject.We have been there just alittle while ago.I would love to have another baby.I don't have morning sickness and love being exspecting.The problem is they grow up and they seem like they are more work. When they are turning in to teens and starting to drive and talking about boys and girls they like it is so scary.Then there is the money it costs for a big family.Bigger car again for one thing.But atleast we know how it all works now and if we really wanted another baby we could totally plan it ,as in the date and all month .So as of right now for us it would have to totally be the Lord in it if we came up expecting.Good luck in your knowing the what the lord wants for you and your family.

Sis. Lori P. said...

ROFL about what Michelle said "we know how it all works now..." That's cute! I think I know what you really meant there girlfriend! Sis Trina, your selflessness is wonderful. We need to all remember that "the fruit of the womb is His reward". I once heard a sis in the crying room say that the babe in her womb was a curse. My heart hurt so badly to hear that, and later...the baby was stillborn. That put the fear of God in me real fast! I know what you mean about boys and people saying, "don't you just want a girl?" We heard that over and over again. My answer was always the same as yours! I LOVE my boys and you know what? They loved me so much have grown into wonderful men that still love me and now I see thae love they have for their wives! Who could ask for anything more. I was so blessed to have one girl. God knew I needed a friend within these walls of masculinity. She is my dear friend and sister in the faith now. My cup runneth over...

On another note...guess what? We are going to be grandparents again!!! We just heard last night. I am so happy!

Steff said...

Here are my two cents (and believe me they aren't worth much!) but if you and your husband have peace with the possiblity of having another baby than go for it! I'm an only child and my parents dealt with just the opposite of someone saying "don't you think you've had enough?" by people telling them how lonely and spoiled I'd be and how "incomplete" our family was. It drove my mom batty but she came to the conclusion that God would provide all our perfect-sized family would need. And He did! So, if one more baby is in the cards for you than God will still supply all your needs. Besides, it is obvious how much love Den and you have for each other and your children...who could ever think to deny one more child being a part of that?!

Trina said...

Michelle: They are more work in many ways as they become teens. *whew!* However, they are more fun too, because their feedback is so fascinating. I mean they know you like nobody else really. I think it's neat that you guys would like another too. The expense is real, but money well spent!

Lori: Ohhh Congratulations about the grandbaby news!! What a great phase of life for you. It does my heart so much good to hear about your relationships with your sons. You are ahead of the game on me, and it is so encouraging!

Trina said...

Steff: Hey there, we must have posted our thinkso's at the same time...lol. Well thanks for the encouraging words, really your two cents means alot! I can imagine how much your Mom had to endure that statement. That would get really old, Im sure! However, you turned out great, and God knows exactly why and how things are supposed to be for each of our families!

Mommy Dearest said...

If you had on a slip, you had on a skirt or dress, so you must have looked reasonably put together!

Yes, people think you're strange when you have a large family, but they usually understand about wanting one of the other sex. Our first three were boys, and everyone understood wanting to try for a girl (now we have four girls and four boys!).

Kim in Idaho said...

Trina, I am so glad to hear your desire to seek God about your thoughts. It is so important since we cant see past the nose on our face. He knows the future and what we need or what will be ahead of us. We need to remember to pray for a willing mind to except Gods will for us. If he would have us to have lots of children or if he would have us to have none. I have been blessed with children. They have taught me and continue to teach me sooo much. There is a lot of joy with our children but there is sorrow too. Yesterday a brother was talking and said, when your children are young they step on your feet but when they grow up they step on your heart. From time to time it is true. As our children grow we hope they will make the correct decisions but they dont always.

Cant wait to see what happens!!! HUMM, Baby or no Baby!

Trina said...

Mommydearest: I was in a skirt...lol, so I was TRYING! I hadn't read your profile and was unaware that you have eight children. Good for you, I have ALWAYS admired large families!

Kim: Yes, that is such a great way of putting it, that we can't see past the nose on our face...lol So therefore I don't know what the right answer is for us about another baby. I don't want to blindly ask for something that may be only of myself, or not want something that may be exactly what we need and just don't recognize it yet. I seriously dont know and can't see past my face...hehehe

Fifi said...

Hello dear friend
I've had a great time catching up on your life! You are such a hip mom of 5 very goodlooking boys!!! Yip she may have noticed the slip, but I am sure she was blown away by your fanastic-looking-slim figure!!! After 5 boys you look magnificent!
We're also debating wether to have another little blessing!
Love to you!

Nadine said...

You and Den produce beautiful children and they have the opportunity to grow up in a Godly home with parents that love the Lord, each other and them. These kids are blessed. If you end up adding one more to the bunch then that is just one more child in the world that will grow up in a great home.

Sunydazy said...

Well, I may sound a little too simplistic here...but I hope you have more!
Anyone who serves God and raises great kids like you do should definitely have more!

We have 5 so far and are open to how ever many more the Lord will send our way. I'm 39 so there's probably only a few years left in this stage of life...but we'll see. I'd love to have a couple more!

Trina said...

Fiffi: Loving your newest photo! (big surprise, since always say that..lol)That is so great that you guys are considering another one!

Nadine: Thank you for the kind words. That makes me feel really good.

Sunydazy: I like things simple...hehehe I think its good to keep your heart and mind open to the Lords will, so you may see your #6 eventually!

ConservaChick said...

My husband and I often pray about this very thing. We had 4 children when we were very young...I had our first at 19, then one every two years after that. I felt overwelmed for awhile, but now that the oldest is 11 and the youngest is 5, I feel like we could go another round. I LOVE big families too!
I can't wait to hear where God ends up leading you.

Just a A thought: If #6 were a girl, you'd have to change your blog title (+;

Trina said...

Conservachick: Well that is how I sort of felt too when we had our first three, than I was like alright let's bring them on. However, you will see that I have got less brave and have some age distance with the last two! hahaha

Yes, I WOULD have to change my blog title (lol)...but I seriously doubt I will have to worry about that! Somehow I think it will be another son. I know the odds are statistically against me, but I just FEEL it.

Lori said...

I think your boys are so lucky to have such a loving and warm enviroment to grow up in...as a teacher, I see so many neglected kids...it is refreshing to read some of my Mommy blogs and hear Mom's who appreciate the little things in their children. You should do what you are led to do...but I bet you have another boy! LOL!

Trina said...

Lori: I bet I do too!!! Seriously laughing, because I think I will too! hehehe