Tuesday, April 17, 2007

My Internal Compass


I was talking to Mary yesterday. We were talking about training up our children, and how difficult it is. How that other's opinions, or actions can affect what we do. Other people's words can change your point of view if you are not careful. If you don't know what you believe, or you don't have a vision for your children, or your life, you can be swayed, like a flimsy tree in the wind.

We spoke about setting a goal in your life, and staying on the path, no matter what anyone else thinks or says. It's tough though. You have to eye your spiritual, and parental compass all the time, because there have been times that I thought I was going N., but by all the influences around me I found I was going a little NE, and pretty soon altogether E. The only way to stay on a clear path is to listen to God and His word, and let the naysayers fall by the wayside.

Which then reminded me of the time that I was struggling with Abram. It was easy to let his desires throw me off track. When Abram was a baby, he was much younger than my first three. He would cry in the car because he would want something that the boys had. When he was very small we gave into his desires, but as he began to become a toddler I knew that this bad habit would need to be turned around if I wanted him to face north. So one day, we had stopped at the Texaco and everyone received a sucker. Even Abram who was about 2. He plowed through his sucker, and very quickly it was gone. He began to holler for his brothers'. One of the boys plopped their sucker into his little hands, and when I looked in the rearview mirror I saw the stick protruding from his mouth. It was nice to hear the car go silent again, but at what cost? The boy who gave up his sucker was disappointed, and the toddler learned nothing, but if you make enough noise and others miserable, you get what you want.

I stated to the child to take the sucker from Abram. The boy didn't want to do so, he stated he didn't mind, however I can tell you he just didn't want to hear the screaming that would commence from Abram. I explained the greater good that would come of it, eventually, and instructed him to take it. So he did, and just like we predicted he wailed and bemoaned the act. We let him cry all the way up the mountain, and when he got home we gave him a sippy, and all was well again.

The lesson I learned was to not give in, because it was easier. There would have to come a day that we have to do what is right, for the greater good. It's very difficult. However, I didn't want Abram to be a brat. I wanted him to have a good reputation, and at two, he didn't know of such a thing, but as the mommy, I did.

Keeping my eye on the compass is the only thing that helps me make good choices. For my own desires, and my own emotions can mislead me. My children are one small part of that. I have to try to not let the things that go wrong, or what others do, veer me off course. I have to constantly look down at my compass and keep it pointing North.

13 comments:

marykathryn said...

I love this post and you gave me some great advise yesteray..no surprise there..hehe!! Children are a challenge at times, but if we know what we want for them in life and seek God, then the outcome is definitely worth ALL the unpleasentness of sticking to our guns. Thanks for the encouraging words and you know I ADORE you!! Our little chats always make me feel soo great about things...I feel so blessed to have you!!
Love You!!!

Jenn said...

What do you use to start your compass at the North. Like you said there are so many differing opinions, and it's hard to find the one that you want to shape your child. I know what I want the end result to be, but I am not quite sure how to get there...any advice is greatly appriciated!

Heth said...

Good stuff!

Cherrie said...

Such good advice. If only I knew my directions, I use the auto compass in my van to get around...hehehe. By the way you are so right, but it is so hard not to give into those little 2 yr olds. Mine has had his fare share of screaming when not getting his way. I so hope that I can keep my life going the right direction I might have to be pushed in the right direction every know and then. lol

Trina said...

Mary: I can say that you have given me amazing advice as well. Many times when I felt that I wanted to go one direction with something, you have sweetly reminded me of the outcome. Thank you!

Jenn: The best advice I could give you about how to find your north is to seek the Lord. You know in your heart what you want for Sarah, so stick to it....that is your north...don't be swayed. I want my boys to understand sharing, respect for others, to turn the other cheek, to have fun, and know what love is...all the things that most moms want, and when you see that one of those things aren't being accomplished figure out why and pray about how to put them north again.

Heth: With all your wonderful children, Im sure you could teach me a thing or two...lol

Cherrie: Screaming comes with the territory sometimes..lol. Eventually they will tire when they dont get their way, right?

meNmykids said...

Seems like rough waters sometimes, makes it hard to keep the wheel going North. I know that only God can keep us guided strait, sometimes I'm just not strong enough to hold the wheel alone.

Lori said...

That was a good reminder for anyone - with kids or not. Just keeping your life on track & not going off the path. Thanks!

momto3blessings said...

Great post and Great reminder!

Mrs. Guthrie said...

Awesome reminder! Sometimes I have found it is easier to "give in" since I see my two all day, every day. It was good to be reminded to stick to my guns, even if that isn't the EASIEST choice of the moment.

Mrs.Martin said...

What a nice reminder with a dear little baby to start over with. I have told the older kids, we want to all help him to be good and to be loved. Or let's help me to grow up well, and not be dreaded to come over to someone elses home. The sucker incident is only one of many decisions to help a small child to understand that the world does not revolve around the sweet baby boy. In the end...or adulthood, a good lesson to be the man God wants them to be.

Adore them, even when you are disciplining them.

Chantel said...

Sound advice as usual. Abram is obviously turing out to be quite a joy. It is so worth it to stay on top of it and be consistant.

Sunydazy said...

Excellent post! I need that reminding right now. The girls are going to be a challenge..who wants to hear 2 16 month old girls scream at the same time!? Oh boy! Do I ever need courage!

la bellina mammina said...

I've been pretty much giving in to the baby - until this reminder from yours. Thank you Trina.